It’s possible I spent at least 10 or more hours of Wednesday’s 24 hours simply feeding my two-week-old infant whom I have begun calling ‘the milk monster’. It was one of those cluster feeding days when a baby’s behaviour is totally biologically impelled, and they park themselves at the breast to stimulate the demand-and-supply nexus. The only way to survive days such as these is to get all the support you can. Had I had a regular birth, I could have managed to feed in a baby carrier while cooking for myself. But this is my second C-section delivery, and while my body is healing surprisingly well, I am being hypervigilant about my wound. I don’t want my stitches to come undone. On Wednesday afternoon, however, I didn’t need to utter a word to my partner who self-initiated our lunch arrangements. He had already soaked rice, taken out the three zucchinis from the vegetable tray which he proceeded to cube and fry. The centre piece would be the tender steaks I had bought the day before. He cut the meat on my plate so I could multitask between feeding the baby and myself. The kitchen was spotlessly clean soon after. I had never felt so at ease.

When we had our first child, three years ago, my partner could only take the minuscule 10 days paid leave that Italy offers. We were not financially stable enough to afford more. Parental leave is oddly structured in Europe and differs from country to country, but it’s plain to see how the burden of childcare is disproportionately shouldered by women, a majority of whom end up either exiting the workforce or never quite returning full-time, not to mention the other consequence, declining birth rates. In India, the care crisis manifests differently. There is a myth that we have societal support—most urban as well as rural mothers will tell you otherwise. Grandparents come with strings attached. If you don’t do things their way, they get easily offended. Most don’t get the problem with screen time, or the concept of gentle parenting. I know so many Indian mothers in their thirties who constantly need to assert boundaries around their parenting styles, whose parents are always complaining about the way the ‘new generation’ is doing things. In short, most Indian mothers end up feeling infantalised, always told there is something wrong with them. But I digress.