Would you trust a pet whisperer?

My friend the Fish thinks I question nothing and believe whatever Irsquom told Unlike me he is an unapologetic sceptic cynical and sarcastic to the bitter end I should not have been surprised by his reaction when I told him that there were certain gifted people in Mumbai who could telepathically locate lost cats dogs and even parrotsldquoCan they talk to mosquitoesrdquo he asked ldquoIrsquom getting bitten to death hererdquoldquoSeriouslyrdquo I said ldquoI think therersquos something here I actually met a woman who does this for a livingrdquoldquoAnd had a telepathic interview Irsquom surerdquo he said snarkily ldquoWhatrsquos her namerdquoldquoLetrsquos say mdash well Whisperia DrsquoSouzardquo I said making it up on the spot ldquoShersquos an animal whispererrdquoldquoYou actually met her physical body Or did she contact you telepathically After all some would say you are a bit of an animal yourselfrdquoWhisperia is one of Mumbairsquos community of selfproclaimed pet whisperers Needless to say in a city of cherished pedigreed pets and thousands of indie strays there are always enough people desperate enough to try something foolish and costly to get their lost pets backSitting in a park I listened to Whisperiarsquos wonderful animal stories and it was not just dogs and cats She once requested a gekko mdash with the utmost politeness mdash to kindly step asideLetrsquos talk about Bombai Click the QR code above to join my WhatsApp group to share your Bombai stories for my bookmdashand perhaps answer some of my Bombai questionsldquoI know my mum is being sillyrdquo Whisperia telepathised to the gekko ldquobut shersquos petrified of you Irsquom not really asking you to leave Irsquom just asking you to hang around in a different spotrdquoldquoThat worked beautifullyrdquo Whisperia told me ldquoThe gekko was doing his own thing but was nowhere near my mumrdquoThe Fish snorted ldquoGekkos always do their own thingrdquoWhisperia has an Instagram account where she conducts online workshops in telepathising with your household pets and also offers to locate your lost pets telepathicallyShe does not promise to bring your pet home because the pet may not be interested However Whisperia and her ldquosmall teamrdquo of zero people will channel messages between the pet and youA Lhasa Apso that had been refusing food told her clearly lsquoThey keep serving me the same thing a monotonous mash of boiled meat and rice Sometimes itrsquos just curd and rice and I do not really appreciate itrdquoldquoI asked the dog what it would likerdquo she said ldquoand it was quite specific It required the meat to be stewed with vegetables in coconut milk with certain specific spicesrdquo The family overjoyed sent her a video later of the Apso lapping it upThe Fish stared at me openmouthed ldquoYou idiotrdquo he said ldquoDogs are engineered descendants of wolves Canis lupus Theyrsquore not into fine diningrdquoEven insects listen to Whisperia according to her Petsitting a Doberman called Bongo that had already been stung twice by honey bees she decided to address the hive as a collectiveldquoI said to them lsquoI understand that you know sometimes hersquos huge and maybe you get angry or irritated at him when he comes nipping at the flower pots but can you pretty please not bite himrsquo rdquoVoilagrave Not a single bite during the few hours she was thereAn Asiatic lion at the Byculla zoo she had lsquobefriendedrsquo and was chatting regularly with took a swipe at Whisperia once nearly taking her arm off Fortunately no one was watchingldquoSo she could make up the rest of the story toordquo said the FishldquoI heard someone say clearly Sorryrdquo Whisperia told me ldquoIt was the lion Looking at me pensively and saying again in my mind It was because of that firecracker I just got startled Irsquom sorryrdquoldquoYoursquore the one who should be sorryrdquo said the Fish ldquoThere are enough animal lovers in Mumbai who will gobble up the nonsense you write and get conned by these Whisperias Do you have any idea what lost cats and dogs actually do when theyrsquore lostrdquoAccording to guides on lost cat and dog behaviour both species have exceptional magnetic geolocation instincts and usually carry superb mental maps of the areas they patrol or have marked with urine When lost cats will typically hide and go silent but stay within a 300500metre radius of their homes under cars porches in garages and so onDogs depending on temperament will panic and run first but eventually begin retracing their paths using familiar landmarks and scent trails They will hide behind dumpsters markets or parking lots close to food waste but stay 35 km from home A Whisperia who tells you to look under a car or in a wooded area does not have to be a telepath to know thisWhisperia doesnrsquot care To her human beings are the beasts and animals are sages In 2018 when Avni the supposed maneating tiger of Yavatmal was being hunted Whisperia was in constant telepathic contact with it It told her one day ldquoI donrsquot see why I should move This is my land too They are the encroachers but when I attack they have a problemrdquo After a pause it added ldquoYou humans have no idea whatrsquos in store for yourdquoldquoDo you remember what happened next yearrdquo Whisperia asked me eyes shining ldquoThe pandemic camerdquoYou can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopigmailcomSend your feedback to mailbagmiddaycomThe views expressed in this column are the individualrsquos and donrsquot represent those of the paper