Some years ago, writer and podcaster Kiran Manral asked a seemingly simple question on social media: “Women over 45, how difficult or easy has menopause been for you? #SeriousQuestion” The answers are still coming in. Manral, 54, received responses that told of the silent — and not-so-silent — difficulties that women go through, and are expected to just take in their stride.

Author Aparna Karthikeyan, for instance, replied, “Please find attached my PhD thesis on Perimenopause and the Unbearable Heaviness of Existing.” Karthikeyan, 51, tells Sunday mid-day, “It really helped that I spoke to my women friends, all of us around the same age range, and we found that our bodies are doing this to all of us. Kind of pinning us to the wall and throwing darts at us.”

She adds, “It is very validating talking to other women, to know that you’re not imagining this and you’re not the only person going through it.” Manral agrees: “We’ve had this omerta about women’s issues for so long; our grandmothers and mothers went through it silently and we are the first generation that’s talking about it.”