Trans Amendment Bill: How allies are helping the community amid grief

lsquoMy door is always openrsquoPadma Iyer and Meera have had a special bond since the latter reached out for help and have been inseparablePadma Iyer 68 has never taken issue with being known as the mother of one of the most vocal gay rights activists in the country Harish Iyer She has earned the love of many queer adults and children who have reached out to her over the years Even before the advent of WhatsApp they would call on her landline or even turn up at her doorstep Many of them were on the run from a volatile home environment or taking a break from a family struggling to accept their identityMeera with Padma a few years after the former turned up at the Iyer homeOne such case is Meera nonbinary transperson who turned up at the Iyer household back in 2018 At the time Meera lived in Delhi They had only chatted on Facebook and spoken on the phone briefly before this when Meera had shared her struggle as her family grappled with her identity ldquoPadma called me at a time I was a bit lostrdquo says the 36yearold marketing professional ldquoMy mother was at least trying to deal with what I was saying but I think my father and my brother were nowhere close I felt a little untetheredrdquo she recallsMeera stayed in the Iyer home for almost three weeks She eventually moved out of her family home and lived in Mumbai for a yearandahalf before moving again to Bengaluru a year ago Now she wants to return to the maximum city ldquoThere is so much support in Mumbai Not that Bengaluru is not a good place as well but with everything thatrsquos happening now I need to be closer to my support systemrdquo she saysPadmarsquos home is home for Meera too ldquoWhenever I go to my home at Padmarsquosrdquo says Meera ldquoshe cooks for me and takes care of me When I lived in Mumbai Irsquod celebrate all festivals with the Iyers Harish calls me his sister Bas aur kya chahiyerdquoMeeraLike many of her friends now Meera is swinging between giving in to the devastation and getting battleready for the fight ahead ldquoI call my friends randomly late in the night stressed and worried Then the next day I think about how we have survived everything else and build back my will to face the dayrdquo she says ldquoIn fact one of the first calls I made was to Harish I asked him if I could no longer step out in a saree or salwar suitrdquo she addsWe ask Iyer if her home will continue to be the haven that it has been for the community despite Section 18 of the Transgender Persons Protection of Rights Amendment Act 2026 which many fear will be misused to penalise anyone who helps trans persons She asserts ldquoMy home will always remain open no matter what law they make no matter how much they try to stop me from helpingrdquolsquoWersquove either lost sleep or can only bear to sleep all dayrsquoArijit Sen is trans man and mental health professional who is trying to provide support to his chosen family while barely keeping his head above waterWhen Arijit Sen first heard that the Trans Amendment Bill has been passed into law he was driving back home from organising for a protest scheduled for the next day ldquoIt was the first time in over 16 yearsrdquo says the 36yearold ldquothat I had suicidal ideation Despite being a mental health professional I felt that it would be better if I had an accident right then rather than face what is in store for us next I am not ashamed of these thoughts no one should be But if this is the impact on me you can only imagine what is happening to those who are not as wellversed in how emotions workrdquoArijit Sen transtherapist who is one of the many carrying the emotional labour of the mental health falloutldquoSome are asking their therapists to adjust their medication to cope Many people are not sleeping well or they have shut down and are always sleeping But again they get back up and continue to fight on with hope and I think this is the state of mind for most of usrdquo he saysAs a mental health professional holding space for others who are distressed in the community therersquos an added layer of guilt when Sen needs to take a moment to cope with his own grief ldquoSometimes I feel total hopelessness or cynical like I canrsquot do anything Then I feel guilty Sometimes I skip meetings or reschedule a few therapy sessions Then shake myself and plunge back into community mobilisation and my professional workrdquo he sharesThe strain is starting to show in other areas of his life too ldquoI feel increasingly irritable all the time even with my partner despite the fact that she has been there for me all the way Today I was filling up some lastminute paperwork for myself and I began to feel anxious lsquoYaha pe rokh denge kya Ye nahin hua toh Will they stop my documentation work here And what if this doesnrsquot work outA protest by the queer community on March 25 a few days before the bill was made into an act FILE PICSASHISH RAJEAt work his documentation has been pending for 1520 days ldquoA few who donrsquot know about my identity have been asking me why I have not got it done yetrdquo he says adding ldquoI donrsquot feel like cooking either these days We have been ordering out a lotrdquoBut there are days that give him strength ldquoToday we are starting a mental health professionalsrsquo research project to document trans personsrsquo data across the country Work like community mobilisation community based research elders and creative arts is where I draw my strength fromrdquoBe an ally be a witnessAlha Matra is a ciswoman and therapist who is part of a group of allies who have organised a listening circle for trans mental health professionals experiencing burnoutAlha Matra and other ally therapists mdash Naina Shahri Prarthana Shaam and Shamal Jaykar mdash are hoping to give their trans colleagues a safe space to take off their mental and emotional armour and be on the receiving end of care for once Theyrsquore hosting a listening circle online and offline on Sunday and Monday for trans therapists like Arijit SenItrsquos crucial to note that the request to host this circle has come from the communityrsquos therapists ldquoWe are hoping to offer a space where they can be witnessed without having to educate the other person to not have care always extracted from them but also receive care It is one form that solidarity in action can takerdquo says MatraThe intake form for the circle has a lsquohopes and needsrsquo section which has garnered responses like ldquoI need to connect to other trans mental health professionalsrdquo Or ldquoI need to see my struggles reflected in someone else to know I am not alonerdquo ldquoWe know that the suffering might not be metabolised in this space alone but we hope to at least help with some of itrdquo adds MatraActs of resilienceRicha Vashista a queer non binary therapist and founder of Leher Mental Health is holding listening circles for trans and nonbinary persons impacted by the ActRicha Vashista feels that while the Act mentions ldquotransgender personsrdquo nonbinary persons like herself feel invisibilised because they ldquoarenrsquot even mentioned anywhererdquo She says that the breakneck speed with which the Bill has become an Act has not given the community any adjustment period ldquoThe human mind takes time to process things so when something like this happens in the span of two weeks itrsquos a bit too muchrdquo she addsRicha VashistaLast week Vashista and her colleagues held a listening circle with 10 people for trans and nonbinary people affected by the Act ldquoIt felt like a place of joy and resistancerdquo she says ldquoSome people shared art some shared poetry and some shared how they channelled their anger and showed up for each other Some others invited their trans friends over and cooked and shared a meal It was a very powerful spacerdquo Leher will hold another community therapy session on April 20lsquoLive my life with joyrsquoAryan Pasha is a transman in Delhi who has opened his home to transpersons in the city to come talk let looseAryan Pasha a lawyer recently posted a photograph in which he is dressed as a unicorn The caption is a satirical take on the erasure of his identity by the new Act I am not a transgender person I am a unicorn nowAryan Pasha wears as unicorn suit to poke fun at the fact that the new transgender act has left him without an identityldquoRight now there is fear confusion and absolute chaosrdquo he says ldquoAt least 15 to 17 kids come home every day to talk to me Many who were about to transition donrsquot know what to do now Many are already being targeted at their jobs Even MNCs with diversity and inclusivity policies have no clarity on what to do now because of the Act We are slowly being driven out of the workforcerdquo he addsWhen we ask if he will continue to keep his home open for trans persons even at the risk it might pit him against the system he says ldquoI will stand for my community till my last breath this act has taken us decades back again But I will not cower and hide my identity I will wear a unicorn suit and go to the park and ask them lsquoWhat is my identity nowrsquo I will live my life with joy and make sure that they do not snuff me out mdash not that they ever couldrdquolsquoWe must act as onersquoKanmani R transwoman and lawyer at forefront of legal movement against the Act lays out path aheadldquoThere are a few things that need to be addressed both from a legal standpoint and to soothe panic in the community1 We have to address the confusion of genderaffirmative care providers There is no ban on it according to one of the answers given to questions in the Rajya Sabha But we need clarity on thatThe community is trying to keep up their spirit while dealing with the disappointment of the new act2 Come together to discuss the next steps We cannot have people going off and taking legal steps in silo This is a big logistical issue the community must work as one3 If possible do advocacy with the state government Push your state to refuse to implement the Act or issue some kind of condemnation4 See if state rules can be an avenue to water down the Act a bit5 The community needs to keep communication lines open and weighing our options between moving the High Courts or Supreme CourtrdquoHowe can allies helpThe community is still working out what the act would mean for the community1 Pick up your phone ldquoWhen a trans friend calls pick up the phone no matter where you arerdquo says transwoman Meera2 Refer a therapist ldquoIf you know a transperson who is unable to cope refer them to a therapist from the communityrdquo says transman Arijit Sen3 Get out of the way ldquoIf you canrsquot help at least donrsquot harmrdquo adds Meera4 Open your doors ldquoInvite trans folk over for dinner ask them how they are doing Make your home a safe space for themrdquo says ally Padma Iyer5 Show up ldquoShow up with your trans friends at rallies or protests or even offline listening circles for supportrdquo says queeraffirmative therapist Ahla Matra