My husband is a drunk, physically abusive man...

Dear Diana,
My husband and I recently had our first sexual encounter. He claims I was not a virgin because when he entered me, there was a gap in my vagina, and because I did not bleed. He is a very narrow-minded person and is ruining my marriage with these accusations.

Sex with him is very painful but even though I tell him that, he does not stop. I believe he is showing his anger by hurting me in this way. He has started drinking and using abusive language with me. He also claims I am in an affair with my cousin brother who is far younger than me and treats me like his own sister. He keeps checking my call logs on my cell phone.

I am worried of planning a family with this man. He has physically abused me when drunk because I refused to have sex with him. The next morning, he calmly ate his breakfast as if last night never happened.

How do I prove to him that I was a virgin when I married him? Do you think such menu00a0-- who keep doubting and physically abusing their wivesu00a0-- ever change? Please advise.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
A guy who can suspect you with your brother is not only narrow-minded, but also filthy minded. Unfortunately, such people never change. Today it's your brother, tomorrow it could be someone else. Marriage is a partnership where both individuals love, trust and respect each other.

I don't see any of these emotions coming from his side here. He has made up his mind about your virginity and whatever you do, you cannot change his mind, because he is not willing to reconsider. I see only one option for you and that is to leave him.

If you stay with him, this guy will only erode your self-esteem and that of your future child, day by day. Talk to your family about your plight. If they are not supportive, then get a job, become financially independent and move into a women's hostel. You may want to engage a lawyer and also decide if you want to take legal recourse for marital rape.

I like her, she likes someone else

Dear Diana,
I like this girl in my college for the past one year. We recently became friends on Facebook and I told her my feelings. She said she's dating someone else. How can I convince her I love her a lot?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Both of you have been straight with each other. Now it's up to her to decide if she wants to get together with you. All you can do is be a good friend, be there for her whenever she needs to talk, and be patient. If she doesn't change her mind, then you'll have to move on.

His problems are separating us...

Dear Diana,
I am an MBA student. There is this guy in my class who is in a different stream of MBA but we are good friends and care a lot for each other. Everything was fine so far, even though he shouts at me and is very possessive when I talk to others.

Two days back, he told me I should not get involved with him. He said he loved me a lot but there are some problems. He is not a flirt like other guys and always gives me respect and never touches me inappropriately. I want to be with him for the long term. What do I do?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
However much you care for each other, a guy who is possessive and shouts at you just for talking to someone else is not a good option. You are lucky that he has put the brakes himself and told you not to get involved with him.

I would say that he's given you an out, take it.u00a0 But if you still think he's really the right guy for you, then ask him what the problems are and if there's some way by which both of you can together solve them. Talk to him about your feelings and tell him you are willing to wait till he solves the problems (but only if you really are willing to wait for him. Ask yourself that first).