LinkedIn raking and blood typing: Experts decode how single Indians are scanning life partners in 2023

When Valerie Dsouza (27) began her hunt for a life partner, she came across Steven's profile on a popular dating app. To her liking, they matched and her next move was a "no-brainer" as she describes it. She logged in to her LinkedIn and looked him up on the career-focused social media platform. It was Valerie's way of ensuring that the guy is not a catfish.

For Valerie, LinkedIn served a deeper purpose of establishing Steven's authenticity. "People on LinkedIn are about advancing their career goals. A quick assessment of their LinkedIn profile is enough to gauge the quality of their education and employment. It helped me cut out slackers from the dating pool and focus on serious suitors", added Valerie.

Millennials and boomers are emerging with a non-conformist approach to identify potential partners. They are taking the bar higher with added factors like empathy, sexual compatibility, and emotional intelligence along with traditional aspects like education, upbringing, and family background to zero down on the suitor pool.

How are single Indians scanning their partners in 2023? To find out, Midday Online reached out to relationship experts and matchmakers from global platforms. Here's what we found:

May I lurk over your LinkedIn?

Many individuals have fallen victim to catfishing and have had negative experiences with people presenting a false version of themselves on dating apps. Consequently, several single Indians are resorting to LinkedIn as a quick vetting tool to scrutinise potential life partners.

Pointing out the vices of social platforms, Anuradha Gupta, the founder of Vows for Eternity, a popular matrimonial website shares, "Social media platforms or dating websites have enabled people to present who they are not. This has resulted in the emotional and mental drainage of those who invested hours in scanning profiles on online platforms. Ultimately people are looking at getting accurate and authentic information given the high stakes when it comes to a serious relationship."

To dig deeper, we spoke to India's second most downloaded dating app Aisle, with a user base of 15 million people worldwide. Able Joseph, founder and CEO, House of Aisle shares that people are trying to use LinkedIn as a tool to verify potential dates. Newer generations are far more career-minded and would like potential partners to match them on that level. That's where LinkedIn provides detailed professional information about a person and allows people to better understand their suitor's background and credentials.

Chuck nudes, will you exchange blood reports with me?

When Aditi Asthana (26) found out about her chronic kidney disease, she was devastated. Upon diagnosis, she found out that the kidney disorder was passed on to her by her father. This revelation not only shook Aditi but her mother too who had to donate her own kidney to save her daughter from a terminal disease. Had Aditi's mother conducted pre-marital medical tests before marriage, she would be in a better position to predict what the future entails for her.

In countries where arranged marriages are still common, discussing topics related to physical and sexual health can be challenging for many individuals. Nevertheless, there is a growing acceptance and comfort level in discussing these subjects, shares Shreya Sharma, a psychiatrist at the healthcare agency Heal N Feel in Mumbai.

She further adds that the younger generation is considering these tests vital not only for the physical well-being of the couple but also for long-term biological compatibility. Medical tests for Infertility, blood compatibility, STD, and genetically transmitted conditions are aiding people in understanding the genetics of their partners and seeking necessary precautions with the help of pre-marital counsellors.

Will you unpack my mental baggage?

The average age at which Indians are settling down in urban cities is gradually increasing with each decade. It implies that people have had more life experiences, including ones related to love and heartbreak, which can leave emotional and mental baggage. Although this may be a slow shift, many of Shreya's clients are comfortable talking about these experiences with their potential partners.

"Young Indians wish to be understood and seen in the relationship and are willing to do the same for their partners. Thus, more open and courageous conversations are happening between couples" says Shreya. Able believes that as the newer generations move into the dating and marriage bracket, the attitude toward mental health is slowly changing for the better.

Now highly self-aware and compassionate, for most people in their early twenties and late teens, relationships are not as confusing and messy as they once were.

What do you think of separate bedrooms?

"People have become more comfortable in seeking personal space in recent times. Young Indians are slowly understanding the need and benefits of spending time with themselves", highlights Shreya. In her therapy sessions, she often comes across partners requesting time away from their relationship, whether it be for solo travel or staying in a hotel for the weekend. Those who cannot afford separate bedrooms, opt for creative ways to scratch the itch for personal space.

This trend may be driven by a variety of factors, including comfort, health, independence, and even ease of scheduling. Able is of the opinion that the shift towards separate bedrooms points to a growing focus on individual comfort and well-being in relationships. While some may view separate beds as unconventional, it could be a practical solution for many couples to enhance their overall relationship.

However, taking time for oneself can be a luxury for many. Although nuclear families are becoming more prevalent and seen as the norm in modern living, limited real estate in cities like Mumbai and Bangalore, where the cost of living is high, makes it difficult for many to afford a place with separate bedrooms.

Will you split the bills with me?

If we're being honest, openly discussing the bills can help in keeping future conflicts at bay. There was a time when there was awkwardness around discussing incomes and it was considered crass. Now, the tables have turned.

Both Able and Anuradha are of the opinion that discussing financial expectations and expenses is evolving as an important aspect of modern-day relationships, especially post-pandemic. Many singles are outrightly seeking financial stability first when looking for a partner. Resultantly, employment status has turned into a key factor that single Indians are considering.

In terms of splitting expenses, some couples are deciding to split them evenly, regardless of their individual income levels. On the contrary, some of them choose to divide expenses based on their incomes, with the higher earner contributing more. In Shreya's professional experience of counseling potential suitors, she observes that male partners are becoming open to accepting the contribution of their female partners. They are no longer threatened by her earning capacity.

Will you get high with me?

The new generation is relatively open about the consumption of recreational drugs, previous relationships, and even other habits, be it smoking or drinking. For some suitors, marriage presents an opportunity to clean the slate and start afresh with healthier habits. While some seek partners who are open to occasional moments of merriment.

When Alaya (29) got hitched in a rather intimate engagement ceremony, she and her boyfriend were stoned and giggling. "I do believe that it's important to reveal lifestyle choices with someone you feel some level of connection with. For me, it is one of those aspects where I sought my partner's choices to coincide with mine."

Able is of the belief that some Indians are open about their past experiences, while others choose to keep them private. That being said, a growing number of individuals are having open and honest conversations about their past addictions, smoking and drinking habits, and lifestyle choices in order to build transparent relationships.

Read More: Valentine's Day 2023: An expert guide to spotting green flags