Conan The Barbarian is a film with a one-point agenda - about a muscle-bound hero who lives, loves and slays. It will most likely only be enjoyed by its core target audience, especially those who aren't unreasonably rabid fans of the (former) Governor of California
Conan The Barbarian
A; Action
Dir: Marcus Nispel
Cast: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Rose McGowan, Leo Howard, Ron Perlman
** (out of 5)
I remember watching the original Conan The Barbarian movie when I was in school,u00a0 at the peak of my Arnold Schwarzenegger obsession. It featured bad acting, badu00a0 camerawork, bad storytelling, unintentionally hilarious dialogue and tons of misogyny. My friends and I lapped it all up simply because, well, it was an Arnie movie. And because there was sword-fighting. And blood. Lots of blood.
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The new Conan The Barbarian, starring a leaner Jason Momoa in lieu of Arnie, has a similar target audience - one that is willing to sit through a movie with gaps in logic and plot holes big enough to drive trucks through for their fix of bloody violence and stomach-churning gore. This movie has a lot of that, ranging from multiple decapitations to medieval methods of torture. There are scenes that could make even the most hardened of viewers flinch, while the faint of heart should simply avoid this movie.
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That said, Conan The Barbarian possesses fairly enjoyable B-movie chops, provided you aren't fussy about minor details such as acting, direction, plot and logic. The story begins with a young Conan (Howard), a young savage boy born to a mother who is killed on the battlefield and father Corin (Perlman) who keeps challenging him physically and tell him he isn't yet "ready" (thereby setting up a triumphant scene in the climax where the boy will prove the father wrong). When future evil warlord Khalar Zym (Lang) tortures and subsequently kills his father Corin, Conan swears revenge and grows up to be a handsome muscular warrior, roaming the lands while living by the sword.
This is where one sees the crucial difference between Schwarzenegger's Conan and Momoa's. The Conan we remember was stocky, dour, rigid and machine-like; meanwhile, Momoa is surprisingly agile, fluid, energetic and passionate. While the former's is perceived as a more iconic performance in hindsight, Momoa's performanceu00a0-- otherwise definitely below average overall on account of inconsistent delivery and one-note expressionsu00a0-- isn't all that bad. What he lacks in histrionics and sheer muscle power, he makes up for in screen presence, although his body language seems to be dictated more by modern pro-wrestling (it doesn't help that he reminds one of WWE wrestler Chris Jericho). Meanwhile, the rest of the cast ranges from bad (e.g.u00a0McGowan as Zym's derangedu00a0daughter Marique) to passable (e.g. Nichols'u00a0dull-but-sincere turn asu00a0the pure-blood and Conan'su00a0love interest Tamara).
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Conan The Barbarian is a film with a one-point agenda - about a muscle-bound hero who lives, loves and slays. It will most likely only be enjoyed by its core target audience, especially those who aren't unreasonably rabid fans of the (former) Governor of California.
P.S.: We were shown this film in 2D.u00a0Going byu00a0everything I have read, it seems that the 3D conversion for this movieu00a0has been done rather hastily andu00a0horrendously. If you must watch this film, kindly avoid the 3D version.
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