Mother’s Day 2023: Indian mothers share hopes for their LGBTQIA+ children

The relationship between Indian parents and their kids is complex owing to the many societal factors that shape our views and impact our lives When it comes to queer individuals these relationships become even more complicated Research has proven that LGBTQIA youth are much more likely to experience mental health issues in comparison to cisgender heterosexuals While parental acceptance of LGBTQIA identities is still widely uncommon in India it severely impacts the wellbeing of their childrenAs conversation around marriage equality reaches breakfast tables across the nation we asked mothers of LGBTQIA youth to share their hopes for their kidsSimmi NandaSimmi Nandas acceptance journey of Ashishs identity has been long but has deepened their bond Photo courtesy Simmi NandaMother of LGBTQIA activist and entrepreneur Ashish Chopra who identifies as a cisgender gay man Simmi Nanda is his biggest supporter She is also the cofounder and director of BeUnic a communitydriven ecommerce platform by LGBTQIA creators and entrepreneurs The motherson duo even appeared on Shark Tank and sparked conversations across IndiaAlso WatchMotherrsquos Day 2023 celebration ideasThe 56yearold is a single mother championing the rights of the community today but when she first found out about her sonrsquos sexuality in 2016 from her sister and niece she was overwhelmed She recalls ldquoIt was a lot to process at first and involved a lot of crying from both our ends I even consulted a psychologist who told me falsely that Ashish can be cured because he is on the spectrum and can choose to be heterosexual or homosexualrdquoThe Noidaresident describes her journey of acceptance much like her life a rollercoaster Echoing every rainbow parentrsquos experience in this heteronormative society her insecurities and fears ran deep regarding the future of her son ldquoI was afraid Ashish will get fired if his bosses found outrdquo she tells us Eventually with the support of her elder son Vishesh Chopra she took the onus on herself to learn about LGBTQIA ldquoTill we let go of our misconceptions and biases we cannot develop an open relationship with our kids I am happy that I can engage with my son honestly and also discuss taboo topics including sexualityrdquoToday Nanda has attended pride parades and drag shows with her son experiencing the wide spectrum in all its vibrancy When asked what her one hope is she says promptly ldquoNow that he is doing well in his professional life I hope he finds a partner and settles downmdashI cannot wait to live with themrdquoNeeta PathareWhile Deep Pathare is a beauty creator Neeta Pathare is camerashy Photo courtesy Deep PathareHomemaker Neeta Pathare is the mother of beauty creator Deep Pathare The Thaneresident identifies as a nonbinary gay man and is breaking stereotypes with his incredible talent for makeup and skin care proving that makeup has no genderWhen asked about their parental acceptance journey the 25yearold shares ldquoI never had a lsquocoming outrsquo moment My parents and family always kind of knew We did have a conversation about me liking boys and they were taken aback but eventually came around and are now super comfortable and supportive about itrdquoNeeta Patharersquos wish is a simple one ldquoI wish for Deep to be safe and happy In all aspects of his life professionally emotionally romantically and financially I have always seen Deep be a giver just like me I try to very carefully remind him that people donrsquot know when to stop taking so yoursquove to yourself from givingrdquoAlso Watch7 practices for mothers to destressMeenakshi SharmaAttending a Pride Walk made Meenakshi Sharma realise that Yash is not alone there is vibrant community of people Photo courtesy Yash SharmaNewDelhi resident Meenakshi Sharma is the mother of Yash Sharma founder of Humans of Queer an Instagram page that provides space for queer lived experiences and narratives Yash Sharma identifies as a genderqueer homosexual and was outed to his mother in 2020 by a relative The 42yearold homemaker tells us ldquoI was surprised at first I did not know much about LGBTQIA identities but with Yashrsquos support I eventually came to understandrdquoHer first Pride Walk was when she witnessed firsthand the volume of people who were queer like her son ldquoI was afraid that Yash will be alone but I was shocked by the number of people I saw that day It was possibly the first time I felt as if he was not alone therersquos a whole communityrdquoShe concludes by saying ldquoOne hope that I have for my kid is that he would achieve whatever he wants to and would not be left behind because of his gender identity His love should not be considered as different than othersPlay QuizCan you identify these popular mothers in IndiaZahara FernandezZahara has been supportive of her daughter Sarah since the day she came out to her Photo Courtesy Sarah FernandezldquoA mother is born at the same time a child is and as I celebrate this Motherrsquos Day the one hope I have for my daughter is the be able to truly live her life with respect and dignityrdquo says Zahara Fernandez Mother of 21yearold Sarah Chriscyl Fernandes who identifies as cisgender bisexual Zahara has been an unwavering pillar of support for her daughter who came out to her when she turned 18 ldquoShes never made me feel alone or struggle with my sexuality and has constantly ensured that I am an active member in the organisation and that I contribute to itrdquo younger Fernandez tells usFernandez a 42yearold speaks with delicate nuance ldquoAs a mother it is my responsibility to ensure I empower her with education and resources to be independent and live happily but I do realise I have a dependence on the environment to allow for her to truly thrive I hope for my daughter to experience inclusivity in her experiences in education institutes and medical care and her everyday experiences with fellow Indians I hope for her to continue to have the agency to make her choice to love marry and make important decisions in her life based on her ability rather than societal normalisations ldquoThe managing director of a top IT and consulting firm concludes by voicing her strongest hope ldquoAs we move forward to the future I hope my daughter can make decisions for her career and her life not constrained by heteronormativity and is able to live a fulfilling life any place she chooses tordquoAlso Read Motherrsquos Day 2023 These momfluencers are acing the social media influencer game one reel at a time