Experts share tips for parents and students to cope with board exam stress

These days the Menon family is stressed at most times Deepa Menon46 says ldquoThe environment at home is not normal I am mostly worriedrdquo Menonrsquos daughter Amrita Rahul is currently preparing for her 12th board examination With 10th and 12th board examinations approaching at lightning speed it is only natural for students and their parents to sweat bullets However acting out of stress can impact the studentrsquos mind as well as the parentsrsquo ldquoMy daughter gets stressed before exams and she stays awake all night worrying When parental expectations soar it often induces tension in children I consistently provide unwavering support to my daughter and embrace her performance irrespective of the scores she achieves but she still gets nervous I always tell her to stay calm and remind her that exams arent the end of the world I want her to know that its normal to face challenges and that doing well on one test doesnt define everything I encourage her to see setbacks as chances to learn and grow My goal is to help her feel more confident and surer of herself when dealing with the stress of examsrdquo shares this Kerala resident According to her encouraging children to study little every day is the key to faring well in examinations instead of trying to learn everything right before exams ldquoThis way she can understand the subjects better and remember the information for a longer time Making a habit of studying regularly can make it easier for her to do well in exams and its less stressful than cramming at the last minuterdquo she tells Midday Online Like Menon it is crucial for other parents whose children will soon appear for board examinations to keep their cool We asked educators and student counsellors how parents must deal with exam stress for the larger benefit of their children Mansi Poddar child psychologist psychotherapist founder of the Heal Grow Thrive Foundation talks of having counselled parents who many times exert too much pressure on their children to excel ldquoMost parents expect their children to constantly study Pestering them to study always keeping an eye on them and reprimanding them for everything they do can lead to frustration in children As a result children often take the step of hiding things from their parentsrdquo This is especially unhealthy during exam time Many factors can set a child off ldquoFrom incessant pressure to score above 90 per cent in exams expecting them to perform as well as the toppers of the class the constant demand to keep studying noisy environment family conflicts to parents fighting and arguing in the house can lead to added stress in children during the time of examsrdquo Poddar highlights Negative impacts of pressure on childrsquos mental health According to Shivam Dixit founder Counsel India parents who prioritise academic performance may feel compelled to ensure a bright future for their children ldquoA child may suffer from harsh criticism a dearth of emotional support and inconsistent punishment Constant criticism breeds insecurity in children leading to undermined selfworth Micromanaging study timetables and undervaluing a childs desire for independence and selfcontrol is another prevalent mistake Since every child learns differently and at their rate comparing kids to their peers can be harmful Further having unreasonably high expectations can demotivate kids and teach them to fear failing rather than see it as a teaching opportunityrdquo According to Poddar constantly reprimanding the children or not being there for them can cause them to develop selfesteem issues make them feel demotivated to make efforts and a general loss of interest in academicsrdquo Many parents also fail to appreciate their children for the efforts they take to fare well in their exams Poddar raises concern saying ldquoIf the child gets no appreciation from their parents and family it leads to negative thoughts in the childrsquos mind leading to selfdoubt and selfblame It makes them feel worthless leading to a lot of mental health issues like anxiety overthinking procrastination selfharm traits loss of selfimage and selfesteemrdquo Ways to help children manage board exam stress Children seek comfort from their parents during challenging times According to Dr Murray Tod founding master Wellington College International Pune WCIP ldquoParents must invest time and efforts into ensuring the overall wellbeing of their students It shows that you care are interested and proud of what your sondaughter aspires to do Furthermore you can also assist the school and tutors in creating the best and most encouraging learning environment I deeply believe in parents being lsquoproudrsquo of sonsdaughters no matter what I believe that these attributes matter along with examination preparation and resultsrdquo Dixit adds ldquoParents must promote a healthy balance between leisure and learning It is their responsibility to establish a judgmentfree open communication atmosphere Instead of concentrating only on grades they ought to stress the significance of work and advancement Recognise the childs strengths and refrain from comparing them to others Having a balanced diet and getting enough sleep are also essential for improved academic performance In the end encouraging a positive outlook and praising the child for their work can go a long way toward improving their general wellbeing during exam timesrdquo Poddar lists below some practices that can help children to cope with exam stress 1 Set a daily study timetable with regular breaks 2 Allow your child to spend their breaks doing whatever they enjoy 3 Ensure sufficient sleep and rest of eight hours to keep the brain active and healthy 4 Keep assuring them every once in a while that not scoring a certain percentage is not the end of the world 5 Assure them that they are doing the best they can and not to go too hard on themselves 6 Ensure they eat a healthy diet Studying tips for better results Iain Sutcliffe head of junior school WCIP says ldquoOne most important factor besides other things is to ensure a quiet and peaceful environment at home The loud volumes of TV family members speaking loudly playing music on loud are among the most common issues that can disturb a child and disrupt focus while studyingrdquo Tod urges the parents to create a lovely and reassuring study space for the pupil and be wellplanned ldquoExamination preparation is all about having a wellrehearsed study plan months ahead in reality which eases the pressure and allows pupils to build up their confidence Parents cannot revise on behalf of their children but they can enhance the learning process by being interested but not too domineering and supporting themrdquo Students should not attempt the impossible such as trying to learn Hamlet the night before the examination never having glanced at it previously Rather they should have a detailed overview of the topics they need to learn in every subject and the skillstechniques required for that subject Revision guides can help assist in this regard and are often recommended by teachersschools Furthermore students should always divide their subject matter into short and regular sessions Donrsquot concentrate only on one subject in a day at the expense of all others Pupils need to switch off too They need to take up recreational activities to refresh their mind Sutcliffe states ldquoPulling their child out of their cocurricular clubs like football or dancing training so that they can concentrate on studying is a common mistake most parents make The reality is that this does not give the child an opportunity to relax so this may increase their stress and anxiety levels Fighting the ills of screen addictionAnother key issue that Sutcliffe highlights is the use of mobile phones ldquoParents must set a time limit to using screens be it phones TV or even laptops Digital devices are the most distracting and can hamper focusrdquo Sutcliffe especially suggests taking phones from children especially at night time as many have a habit of being on their phones late into the night This does not mean that parents must forcefully confiscate phones ldquoFostering understanding instead of using confrontation is key to teaching kids healthy phone habits Start by outlining the value of moderation and how too much screen time can affect their social relationships sleep and general wellbeing Stress the advantages of taking part in different hobbies such as reading playing outside or artistic endeavours Make sure your child understands the importance of moderation by setting clear boundaries for screen time and explaining the rationale behind them Set a good example by appropriately using your devices Promote transparent dialogue to ensure your child feels at ease sharing their worries or difficulties By presenting the topic in a constructive light you enable children to choose their screen time wiselyrdquo says Dixit Further reducing reliance on screens can also be achieved by promoting the use of conventional study tools like textbooks and notebooks given that postpandemic study materials are shared digitally Mental health practices for parents and children to cope with stress Parents and students can employ various mental health practices to alleviate stress before and during exams Poddar and Dixit suggest doing the following that will help both parents and children in coping with stress 1 Establish a structured study routine to help create a sense of control 2 Encourage breaks during study sessions to prevent burnout Mindfulness and deep breathing exercises aid in relaxation fostering a calmer mindset 3 Have open communication with your children to extend emotional support 4 Prioritise selfcare including sufficient sleep and healthy nutrition to enhance overall wellbeing 5 Set realistic goals and focus on one task at a time to prevent overwhelming feelings 6 Engaging in physical activities to boost mood and reduce stress Implementing these practices fosters a conducive environment for effective stress management 7 Step out when on a break instead of restricting yourself within the four walls of your house Spend time in nature listening to songs Take a walk with your pet 8 Paste sticky notes on your study desk with motivational quotes and selfaffirmation This will help you push yourself to perform better as well as comfort the mind 9 Spend time with your childparents These days parents ndash most of them working lead busy lives leaving them with little to no time to spend with their children Take the time to bond with each other Engage in hobbies such as listening to music playing an instrument reading or painting together Spend your weekends doing fun family activities Dealing with stress and anxiety a pre and postexam Sutcliffe states ldquoWhen students approach parents voicing their fear of examinations they must remind their children about how proud they are of them as individuals and that their love is not conditional or determined by their examination success or scoresrdquo According to Todd students should be discouraged from overcramming the night before the exam ldquoIt can be counterproductive There needs to be a cutoff point and time for relaxation If an exam does not go well then parents simply must look on the positive side encourage the viewpoint that one does not yet know the result and it may be better than the child thinksrdquo He adds ldquoAvoid overanalysing the exam paper and answers Encourage the child to move on to the next challenge One must not dismiss their feelings allow them to get it out of their system but do not let it overwhelm the childrdquo