'I'm in love with somebody who is engaged...'

I have always had a special place for this guy. He's a former colleague and we started seeing each other casually while we were working. Recently, I found out that he got engaged which broke my heart

Dear Diana,
I have always had a special place for this guy. He's a former colleague and we started seeing each other casually while we were working. Recently, I found out that he got engaged which broke my heart. He did not tell me, but I got to know from others. As his fiancee lives in Pune, we still see each other sometimes. Ours has been a sometimes on, sometimes off relationship. Should I just forget him? I know it's easier said than done and I have tried to stay away, but he keeps coming back to me. I actually love him and the last time I saw him I felt a bigger connection than ever with him. I'm not sure what to do. He says his folks fixed the engagement as her parents are known to his family. At the moment he says he is not too keen to get married though.
— Neha


Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Neha,
If the guy really cared for your feelings, he would not have allowed the engagement to take place. He is unclear what he wants to do. On the one hand, he wants to be with you whenever possible, but at the same time he does not want to upset his family members. He needs to take a stand on what to do. You clearly know that he will dump you as his folks will start pressuring him for marriage. You will then be heartbroken and devastated yet again. So it is better you tell him exactly how you feel about the entire situation. If he does care for you, he will talk to his parents about you. If he does not, it is better you go your way. This man is already engaged and you will be blamed for creating problems in his engagement. You are sincere and honest, while this man is definitely not. It is time he realised what he wants to do — whether to stick around with you or his fiancee. So tell him to take a decision and stick to it.

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