My guy is a compulsive flirt...

My boyfriend is of an outgoing nature and loves to talk. Even though we have been together for over a year, he has this habit of being extra friendly with girls

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend is of an outgoing nature and loves to talk. Even though we have been together for over a year, he has this habit of being extra friendly with girls.

Illustration/Amit Bandre

He says nothing will come of it as he feel it is harmless flirting. I’m not happy with this scenario as it means that he spends a lot more time talking to them than me. He feels I take life too seriously and he’s a fun-loving person. He also befriends girls online and chats with them. He is aware that I detest his late night online chatting. I have told him it amounts to cheating. How do I make him realise that what he is doing is causing me a lot of pain and grief. He just does not seem to understand and refuses to refrain from his ways. He tells me to consider it as an ego boost that so many girls find him desirable.
— Sharmila

Dear Sharmila,
Your guy is an extrovert and you are finding it difficult to handle his flirtatious nature. But it is not like he has just started flirting with other women all of a sudden. He has always been like this from the beginning and feels it is part of his personality. He feels that by now you should have got used to the fact that so many girls find him desirable. At the same time, he is not hiding his actions from you, so as long as he knows where to draw the line there is no need to worry. But you never know when he might get carried away. This is what you need to explain to him. Overdoing it will surely take a toll on the relationship and will make you feel insecure and jealous. If you harbour such feelings it will consume you and make your life miserable. As a last resort, you can try to change your guy’s behaviour by telling him what if you did the same and flirted with guys? He sure won’t like it and hopefully he will then get the hint.

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