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Technology for fat people

Updated on: 08 June,2009 10:25 AM IST  | 
Balaji Narasimhan |

Why should technology just run enterprises? Can't it also help me to have a perfect six-pack?

Technology for fat people

Why should technology just run enterprises? Can't it also help me to have a perfect six-pack?

Now, the heading of this story may make you feel that I'm a guy with abs that rival Aamir Khan's in Ghajini who is making fun of all the roly-poly people out there, but you will be far from the truth. Ok, so I don't look like Obelix, but I am no where near Arnold Schwarzenegger either.

Many of us who write about technology have our own wish lists. What would happen if the iPhone came with a great keyboard? Can I have one device that will help me check mail, read books and solve all my tax headaches? While most of them are in the realm of reality, occasionally, it is good to put on your fantasy thinking cap and then see what is possible.

Before you proceed, I want you to understand that this is an attempt that I'm making to laugh at myself.

Therefore, any similarities between the fat people discussed here and any real person known to me is strictly a coincidence!

Corpulence busters

When the fat is in the fire but the fire is in the belly, you could do with these tools:

>>Fat remover tool: Remember the tongue fat remover that you use every morning immediately after brushing? Now, wouldn't it be great if you got something like that in a large size, which you could use on your belly?

>>Fat2muscle:
This is my favourite. You enter a chamber like the one that Norman Osborn entered in the Spider-Man flick before he became the Green Goblin. There is a flash of light and you emerge, minus your paunch, but brimming with gleaming biceps. How? Simple! The machine took the fat from your belly, converted it into muscle, and injected it into your arms!

>>Floaters:
One day, airlines will charge us by how much you weigh and this technology will help us then. These are electronic devices that you fit inside your shoes before weighing yourself. They give you a slight lift and hold much of your body weight above the ground, so a 100 kg man will show up as being just 70 kg!

>>Magnadesk:
Many of us look great when behind our desks, but the moment we get up to greet somebody who has entered our chambers, well, the ugly belly shows up. The magnadesk will detect when you are getting up and the top will flip up to ensure that nobody sees your paunch. The magnetic desk will also ensure that nothing will fall off the top of the table when it is flipping

>>3D presence:
CNN used this technology during the Obama elections. Why can't we use this to project an image of ourselves, minus a paunch, to the outside world? Then you can sit at home and eat junk food and get even fatter!




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