Do some gynaecologists judge unmarried women for having premarital sex?

ldquoI have had a 24yearold patient who was judged by her previous gynaecologist for having premarital sex and was asked to call her mother into the room and describe her concerns This patient was also refused contraceptives as she was told it was unnecessary before marriage Incidents like these only make me realise how being judgmental comes so easily to even experts in our societyrdquo reveals Dr Divya Vora obstetrician and gynaecologistSimilarly when asked if he too has come across a patient who was judged by a gynaecologist for being sexually active Dr Rohan Palshetkar head of unit Bloom IVF professor at Dept of OBGY DY Patil School of Medicine says ldquoUnfortunately I haverdquo The doctor chose not to share any more details for privacy reasonsThis is not to say that all the gynaecologists in the country have an orthodox mindset To dive deep into this subject Midday Online conversed with Vora and Palshetkar who shared relevant details and provided solutions to unmarried women for proper guidance and treatmentDo unmarried women especially those sexually active fear visiting gynaecologistsVora Absolutely Our society is still very unaccepting of women being sexually active before marriage Unfortunately a lot of gynaecologists tend to have that mindset too It is something that needs to be part of our medical curriculum ndash to be nonjudgmental and be able to have open progressive and appropriate conversations about sexPalshetkar To be honest it varies from area to area When we are looking at the metro cities it isnrsquot a major issue The majority of women residing in metro cities wonrsquot be concerned about their sexual status Few might get worried and may even withhold the information if they are going to their gynaecologist for a regular checkup However if you do have any problems it is important to be clear We are there to help you and there will not be a judgement from our end Sexual health and reproductive rights should be upheld and treated without judgementDoes being judged negatively impact patientsrsquo overall wellbeingVora One bad experience with a gynaecologist can lead to fear in the patient to visit any gynaecologist even in the future It can make them feel like all doctors are judgmental and insensitive The experience can also make them feel like they did something morally incorrect This not only leads to their inability to trust their doctor but also prevents them from seeking timely medical care when neededPalshetkar Firstly coming across a gynaecologist who is judgmental regarding the sexual health of an individual is rare However for those who do experience this it can lead to breaking the trust of the patient towards the doctor Such a patient wonrsquot divulge all the information leading to improper treatment due to lack of informationIs there a viable solutionVora Unfortunately not even 1 per cent of our society can be called progressive considering the density of our population especially rural Having said that there is a drastic improvement in this generation of doctors in terms of being able to have open judgementfree conversations and the future looks betterFor women looking for a gynaecologist do not go ahead with a doctor who asks your parent to be in the room judgesscowls at you for being sexually active makes you feel uncomfortable with their statementsexpressions denies treatment based on their cultural beliefs and makes you feel guiltyimpure Donrsquot go to your motherrsquosauntrsquos gynaecologist if it makes you uncomfortable Ask around do your research and then pick a gynaecologist you can trust and be open withFor me the question I directly ask is lsquoAre you sexually activersquo When the marital status is not addressed it makes my patient believe that it does not matter and very honestly it does not Its very important to make the patient feel like they can share anything and everything with you without having to liehesitate We need to understand that we deal with the most intimate concerns and the only way to approach them is by being understanding judgmentfree empathetic and most importantly confidentialPalshetkar I think times are changing where we can even talk about sex before marriage I think the time will come when there probably wonrsquot be any judgement We must accept everyonersquos individual decisions even if they donrsquot match our line of thinking Whether patients come for a regular checkup or they seek an abortion it isnrsquot our place to judge their actions It is important to be objective and ensure they get the best line of treatment We can advise them of options but not enforce themIn my opinion there isnrsquot a right or wrong way to pick the doctor Maybe you can consider going to their Google page or website understand their speciality and then figure it out Sometimes even after doing that you may meet doctors who may not suit your needs but they will refer you to someone who will help treat your conditionsWhat societal changes are necessary to ensure women have easy access to sexual healthrelated medical assistanceVora Its simple By not talking about marriage at all Why should someonersquos sexual activity be associated with being married By implementing comprehensive sex education in the curriculum having safe spaces for people to be able to talk about their bodies and concerns openly having public awareness campaigns providing healthcare workers training regarding these matters conducting community workshops and providing legal protections that ensure privacy and confidentiality for anyone seeking reproductive health advice can go a long way in bringing about a positive changePalshetkar I think itrsquos important to bring about awareness about sexually transmitted infections the right to abortions and sexual and reproductive health rights so that society is sensitised to all situations This will help women approach gynaecologists to get their treatment in time and ensure that they do not have any longterm effects of their ailmentsAre there any benefits of being sexually active before marriageVora Engaging in consensual sexual activity before marriage can have potential benefits Some of them includeEmotional connect Sexual intimacy can deepen bonds and foster better communication between partnersCompatibility Exploring sexual compatibility before marriage allows couples to understand each others needs preferences and desiresReduced anxiety Addressing sexual concerns before marriage can alleviate anxiety and promote a healthier relationshipUnderstanding onersquos own body Learning about ones own and each otherrsquos bodies and sexual needs can be empowering and contribute to overall wellbeingOpen communication mutual consent and respect are extremely important for a positive and healthy sexual relationship regardless of marital statusPalshetkar There are no benefits to being sexually active before marriage however it isnrsquot a liability either if you are careful about your reproductive and sexual healthHow can women advocate for themselvesVora It is always best to tell a gynaecologist who becomes your moral police about how uncomfortable they made you feel It is also completely okay to change your doctor multiple times if need be I donrsquot believe in public humiliation there are more positive ways of handling a situationPalshetkar I think you should not get affected and consider changing your gynaecologist to ensure you get the right treatment without any judgement