Hang on Santa, I shan&rsquo;t lead away the sled till you&rsquo;ve piledu00a0it full.&rdquo; &ldquo;Then Rudolph, tell those other skittish reindeer to stop jingling the sleigh bells.&rdquo; <img alt="" src="http://images.mid-day.com/2013/dec/stumped.jpg" style="width: 500px; height: 386px;" /> Illustration / Amit Bandre &ldquo;Sure. Calm down Comet, Cupid. And guys, because you&rsquo;re called Dasher, Dancer, Prancer doesn&rsquo;t mean you can&rsquo;t stand still for a bit longer. Yeah, agreed. It&rsquo;s already the 22nd of December, late for our old chum here to yet be ticking children&rsquo;s lists. &rdquo; &ldquo;Heard that. Yes, I&rsquo;m slow these recent years. Stumped, I say.&rdquo; &ldquo;Why so foxed?&rdquo; &ldquo;Because nothing&rsquo;s what it used to be. All those lovely storybooks they&rsquo;d pray for? Today they keep pestering for some stuff called Paperwhite 3G.&rdquo; &ldquo;Kindle. Kinda cool. You gave those last year as well.&rdquo; &ldquo;Huh, really?&rdquo; &ldquo;Yup. Times change. Move with them. Up in heaven you&rsquo;re frozen thinking books just mean print on paper. Kids below on earth are plugged into an electronic age.&rdquo; &ldquo;It&rsquo;s also electronic music alone they seem to want. I can&rsquo;t understand&hellip;&rdquo; &ldquo;You&rsquo;re not meant to. You grant the wishes. Be done with it. Load the sled.&rdquo; &ldquo;My job always was to load. I only want to load. But with much of this upload and download of music and movies going on, what am I left to plain load anymore?&rdquo; &ldquo;C&rsquo;mon Santa. Tear up those lists. How does it matter who&rsquo;s naughty, who&rsquo;s nice &mdash; give &rsquo;em all something small and let&rsquo;s leave.&rdquo; &ldquo;Oh no, Rudy. I&rsquo;m Father Christmas. I&rsquo;m expected to gift good girls and boys treats they ask. Give as they must get.&rdquo; &ldquo;If you&rsquo;re so exacting you&rsquo;re gonna hurt. Don&rsquo;t do as they demand and you&rsquo;ll be history, the forgotten legend of St Nicholas. Kids will stop believing in you.&rdquo; &ldquo;They&rsquo;ve stopped believing in everything anyway. In magic, in manners, in&hellip;&rdquo; &ldquo;Ok ok, got the idea.&rdquo; &ldquo;They can even all be me, you know? New-fangled rubbish of Surprise Santas.&rdquo; &ldquo;That&rsquo;s fun. Now, what&rsquo;s the next address you have?&rdquo; &ldquo;Ah, as confusing. Have you noticed how there are too many different houses for our regular little listers this year? I must make a note.&rdquo; &ldquo;People shift, Santa. It&rsquo;s only you and us reindeer stuck at the same Pole forever.&rdquo; &ldquo;No no, not that kind of shift. See &mdash; a stack of presents from a divorced dad marked to reach his daughter in her mother&rsquo;s new husband&rsquo;s home. And here&rsquo;s this child living across the city because he and his mum had to leave.&rdquo; &ldquo;Grow up Santa. You&rsquo;re the only one who hasn&rsquo;t. We could talk about this forever but shouldn&rsquo;t. Hold it, Donner. Go easy, Vixen and Blitzen.&rdquo; &ldquo;It&rsquo;s ready steady go then Rudolph?&rdquo; &ldquo;You bet my red nose it is. Off we ride, quickly. Heigh ho Father Christmas, hop into the snow cart.&rdquo; &ldquo;Cart? Oh, cart. The illiterates spell it with a &lsquo;k&rsquo; these days. When they send wish mails to... umm... Flipkart.&rdquo; Meher Marfatia is the author of 10 books for children and two for parents. She has mothered her own kids well past the terrible twos and almost past the

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Hang on Santa, I shan't lead away the sled till you've piled it full."

Santa stumped

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Santa stumped

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