Teen Mental Health: Ways to understand and look after lovesick adolescents

From 2017 to 2019 more than 24000 children between the ages of 14 and 18 years committed suicide Whereas failure in examination was the reason in over 4000 such cases a less highlighted aspect were loverelated issues which drove at least 3315 teens to this extreme decision In a recent example on August 1 a 19yearold collegian from Kurla in Mumbai hanged himself with a belt after his girlfriend turned down his marriage proposal over a video chat mdash he wanted to show her that he was even ready to end his life because of the rejectionAs many as 24568 children out of whom 13325 were girls died by suicide according to data of the National Crime Records Bureau which was recently presented in Parliament Marriagerelated issues were cited as the cause of suicide for 639 children including 411 girlsExplaining how childrenrsquos psychosocial wellbeing can be compromised particularly during periods of stress Puja Marwaha CEO CRYChild Rights and You noted that a majority of the children and adolescents who attempt suicide have a significant mental health issue or challenge usually depression ldquoAmong teenagers suicide attempts may be associated with feelings of stress selfdoubt pressure to succeed financial uncertainty disappointment depression and lossrdquoMidday online spoke to two psychiatrists Dr Sapna Bangar Psychiatrist amp Head Mpower The Centre Mumbai and Dr Ambrish Dharmadhikari Psychiatrist amp Head Mpower ndash The Foundation Mumbai to understand how dating and romantic setbacks can take a toll on the mental health of adolescents and how the adults around them can extend empathy and supportHere are the specialistsrsquo combined insightsWhat are the mentalhealth risks associated with teen romantic relationshipsTeenage is the most difficult period in onersquos life Teens go through the physical emotional and social changes simultaneously Their romantic relationships could range from casual to intense and are associated with a risk of anxiety depression sleep problems social isolation and in extreme cases selfharm and risk of suicide High expectations high intensity push for physical intimacy shortduration all are contributing factors to stress Breakups are difficult to handle and often teens cope with maladaptive coping mechanisms that end up affecting their mental healthPlease tell us about the mental health determinants for teenagers when they fall in loveSome of the determinants are selfesteem selfimage issues support of friends and family presence of anxiety or depression abuse within the family any experience of trauma parental relationship or separation or any recent stressorsBesides nature objectives peer pressure intensity involvement and duration are determinants of mental health when they fall in love Also innate evolving personality family environment and cultural upbringing also contributeWhich emotional hurdles are linked with experiencing love during this phaseEmotionally itrsquos a difficult period in general teens are exploring and understanding emotions They often go through turmoil due to hormonal fluctuations They have mood swings get easily hurt and process emotions in an unhealthy manner Teenage is also the time when people face uncertainty identity issues stress of building a career sexuality peer pressure and feeling isolated from family Sometimes this leads them to seek validation in a romantic relationship At times relationships can be a part of pushing boundaries and asserting themselves or it could be using the relationship as an escape from their problems Quite commonly it is also about peer pressure where teenagers want to be in a relationship because it is cool or dont want to be left outHow does falling in love change teenagers mentally and emotionallyTeenagers areknown to be intense emotionally especially when they fall in love Usually being the first time there is a lot of exploration expectations as well pressure on themselves For the first time being in love changes themFalling in love is associated with an increase in the level of neurochemicals called dopamine and oxytocin which results in a feeling of wellbeing reduced stress feeling happy and safe and reduced perception of pain The emotional part of your brain also called the limbic system is activated which in turn causes the release of cortisol making a person feel excited and hopeful It can also lead to sweating and increased heart rate They are also vulnerable and in an isolated intimate relationship most likely for the first time So all these bring a mixed bag of positive and negative emotional changesThere are frequent reports of teenagers attempting suicide when rejected by a partner What pushes them to thisTeenagers are in the developing stage of emotional maturity One important aspect of emotional maturity is the ability to accept rejection Rejection of a proposal is often viewed as rejection of the whole self It affects selfimage Rejection is seen as absolute and often teens impulsively or due to the effect of mental health illnesses attempt suicideThere is another angle to this teens are in process of understanding the surroundings and often fall to societal family and peer pressure of living up to the highest standard and any deviation to it creates a feeling of failure Rather than being seen as an aberration it is seen as a complete failure Apart from these comorbid mental health issues family history and social acceptance contribute to suicidesWhat are the signs of lovesick anxiety that the friends and family of a teenager must watch forSigns of anxiety and depression need to be monitored be it lovesick or otherwise Low mood decreased energy loss of interest anxiousness avoidance panic attacks lack of concentration changes in sleep and appetite patterns are common symptoms of anxiety and depression Regular communication and open conversation is an easy way to understand whats going on inside the brains of teenagers Parents often stop having open communications to provide privacy but it can lead to neglect of early symptoms of anxiety or depressionHow can teens be protected in this scenarioTeenage is when children push boundaries and tend to push their parents away Parents need to learn to not take it personally and keep the channels of communication open with their children so that they do not feel they have nowhere to go The responsible adults in the teenagers life like teachers family members grandparents can be a source of support and act as a voice of hope when things go downhillHow should parents talk to their teenage kids about love problems keeping in mind their mental healthCommunication is preventive for identifying and treating factors for mental health issues among teenagers Be it loverelated or otherwise communication is the key Parents should focus on open discussions about love and loverelated expectations At the same time they should also accommodate teens thoughts and expectations Parents should guide and not dictate their child in these mattersIt is important that parents develop a friendship with their children and not treat lsquoloversquo as a taboo subject Parents at all costs should avoid lsquogiving guiltrsquo to teenagers for having romantic relationships Trusting teens goes a long way in building healthy relationships Remember how you create a relationship with your child dictates how they develop relationships with othersWhat are healthy ways in which teenagers can experience romantic relationshipsConsciously or subconsciously teenagers try to mimic adults when in a romantic relationship So it is imperative that adults set the right example for them Also teaching them to set boundaries to say lsquoNorsquo and setting realistic expectations are some areas parents should focus on from the early teen years While trusting them and allowing them to make their own decisions is necessary being with them through heartbreak is of utmost importance Not judging your child based on how they behave when in a relationship also goes a long way in healingWith PTI inputsDirectory of suicide prevention helpline numbers httpwwwaasrainfohelplinehtmlDisclaimer This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice diagnosis or treatment Midday online does not guarantee the accuracy completeness efficacy or timeliness of information posted in this article Always seek the advice of your mental health professionalother qualified health provider regarding your condition