’I am his standby girlfriend’

Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

'I am his standby girlfriend'

Dear Diana,
I was recently introduced to this guy by a colleague. He is her distant relative. Even though I know him for barely a month, I feel I can trust him. We are extremely comfortable with each other and can talk to each other for hours. Last week we stayed up till 4 am talking on the cell phone. I told him things I wouldn't normally tell any friend. So you can gauge the level of comfort. He has also told me a lot of personal stuff. The other day we went to watch a film, in the auditorium he put his arm around me and linked his fingers with mine. I did not move away. We are in love! But now he tells me he has a girlfriend who has relocated out of Mumbai for a while. What do I do? Am I a standby for his girl? Does he really love me?
-u00a0Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
It is clear that this man is missing his girlfriend and using you to satisfy himself. Why did he not tell you at the beginning that he had a girl tucked away in another city? He let you in a trap and you fell for it. This man is not to be trusted at all. You may have become close to him and feel comfortable with him. If you have developed feelings for him, then ask him outright where you stand in his scheme of things. His girlfriend will be back, what happens then? Have you thought of that? It is not too late to get out of this mess. But if you love him and he does so, then go ahead. But first get a commitment from him.

I'm scared to ask her out
Dear Diana,
I have a big crush on this girl in my college. I had this chance to be with her (andu00a0 perhaps even ask her out!) when a common friend introduced us. The friend then rushed to her class for a lecture. But I was tongue-tied and froze. I am scare to ask her out. What do I do now?
-u00a0TN
Dear TN,
So, you missed a chance! But I am sure another opportunity will come your way now that you have been introduced to her. It is not the end of the world! Be sure of what you're going to say next time she is around. Be confident about yourself and be positive that she will say a yes to you.

I am in love with two guys!
Dear Diana,
I have known this guy for a few years now and we have been out a couple of times. At the moment we have not committed to each other, we are taking things as they go. But now I have started developing feelings for another boy too! He has asked me out too. I am in a fix, who should I choose? I am in love with both of them!
-u00a0SG
Dear SG,
You need to first sit back and clear your mind. Think about who you like better; with whomu00a0 are you more comfortable and more at ease. Whose company do you enjoy more?. It is difficult to equally like both. I am sure there is that one guy for whom you care more. Once you have sorted out your feelings, go along with the chosen guy. Remember dating two guys at a time will only cause a lot of chaos and heartburn.