For the past three years, I have been friends with this girl long distance. She is my best friend. But since the past few months, she is behaving weirdly
Dear Diana,
For the past three years, I have been friends with this girl long distance. She is my best friend. But since the past few months, she is behaving weirdly.
All of a sudden her behaviour has changed. She even stopped messaging me. When I asked her what had happened, sheu00a0 replied that she was feeling really empty inside. When I asked her what was the reason, she said there was none. 
I have asked her this several times, but every time her answer is the same one. She says she has lost interest in everything, and things look dull and disgusting. Initially, I thought she must have over exhausted herself and so is feeling this way, but it's been going on for three months now.
She has not gone into isolation, but she doesn't feel like talking to anyone. All this worry me that she might be entering clinical depression. I am planning to make a trip to her city next month and talk to her. Should I take her to a psychiatrist?
Rahul (Name changed on request)
Dear Rahul,
It's tough to say exactly what's wrong and why she's had this sudden change in behaviour. It's quite possible that she's had an emotional shock that's made her question herself. She may not be comfortable talking about it to you when you are so far away.
The only thing you can do is meet her in person and talk to her. Convince her that you are her true friend, you have her best interests at heart, you will not mock her. It's possible that she thinks that whatever is hurting her may seem like a trivial matter to you. Make her understand that it is not so.
Anything that bothers her will never be trivial to you. Make her believe that you do not think she's too weak to tackle the problems that come her way. It's quite possible that she is entering into clinical depression, but it is not for me or you to make that diagnosis.
Only a professional trained in mental health can do so. Do not force her into seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist. If she is not ready to talk to a stranger about what's bothering her, then it will be a futile exercise which will only damage her trust in you and in turn, in herself.u00a0 Keep calm and be there for her whenever she needs you.
My first love doesn't want to marry me
Dear Diana,
I am a 24 year old guy in love with a girl for the past 14 years. She was with me from the time we were in school, but now she doesn't want to marry me. Her parents are looking for a groom for her. When I ask her to marry me, she simply refuses. I loveu00a0 her a lot. What should I do?
Akhtar
Dear Akhtar,
Childhood sweethearts don't always end up getting married. Both of you were very young when you were together and 14 years is a long time. People changeu00a0-- instead of growing together, you've grown apart. If she has moved on, then it will be best if you do too. It will be tough, but you have to let go and let her live her life with whom she wants to.
Financial burden's heavy on my shoulders...
Dear Diana,
I am a 25 year old woman, married for the past two years. I have a one year old son. It was a love marriage. My husband is unemployed and is not at all interested in getting a job. He makes excuses and doesn't even go for job interviews. I work in a private company, but it is difficult for me to bear the expenses alone. His behaviour is irritating me. What should I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
I think you should give him an ultimatum. Tell him that if he doesn't get a job by such and such date, you will not support him anymore. Tell him that you want him to split the expenses of the house with you, if not bear them fully. And if he cannot do that, then you will not continue to support him. He needs to be jolted out of his reverie, else you will suddenly realise it is 10 years later and he is still living off you.u00a0u00a0u00a0
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