I have been married for 24 years and we have two teenaged daughters. I thought I married my best friend, and for a while we were happy
Dear Diana,
I have been married for 24 years and we have two teenaged daughters. I thought I married my best friend, and for a while we were happy. I don't really understand how things went so wrong. But over the years, our marriage slowly deteriorated. It has now got to the point where we can barely speak to each other without ending in a huge fight. My children do not want to be at home and neither do I. My husband prefers to be always at work. I realise that we are both responsible for what is happening, but I feel that my husband has said and done so many hurtful things, that I can not seem to forget it. He won't communicate anything with me about our finances or how he feels, instead he goes around discussing it with everyone else. Myu00a0 daughter tells me that he wants to stay seperately and wants her to live with him. What the hell? My name isn't even on the house. I don't have a job. He controls all the money. What am I supposed to do if he walks away?u00a0
- EH
Dear EH,
You have been married for over two decades. All this while you coped with the mess in your life and now suddenly when he wants to stay seperately alarm bells are ringing. In the first place why did you allow things to deteriorate so badly. You state you have two teenaged daughtersu00a0--u00a0 they are old enough to understand and salvage the situation by striking a conversation between you and their father. As you have let things slip away from your hand, and all modes of communication have failed, you suddenly find yourself at the deep end. But did you try to salvage the situation all these years? It appears you let things be. Now the only way out is to talk it out with your hubby. As a first step tell your two teenaged daughters to make him understand that they cannot dump you at this juncture. Then you have tou00a0 take a call on your relationship. Do you want to continue living like this or do you want things to change? You have to decide what course your life has to take. Seek your daughters help to salvage the situation.
I can't wear T-shirts
Dear Diana,
I am a 16-year-old girl and have a big problem. I am extremely busty. All my friends wear T-shirts and fitted clothes. I feel so conscious when I do so. As if everyone is looking at me. What do I do?
-u00a0LS
Dear LS,
I can understand your situation and the stares you have to cope with. One option is bust-reduction surgery but it is expensive and at your age avoidable. Why don't you drape a stole or a scarf around your neck? Nowadays several girls of your age are doing a mix and match of Indo-western wear. Make your own style statement.
My girlfriend slept with a male colleague
Dear Diana,
My girlfriend went on a night out with her work mates and missed the last train back. See was with two females and one male colleagueu00a0-- so they got a family room at a hotel. When she got back the next morning she told me she had to share a bed with the male to get some sleep and nothing else. While the other two girls shared another bed in the same room. I think this is not done. I would have slept on the floor! But she thinks it's okay to do this sort of stuff. We've been in a relationship for six years and she's only been working at this company for six months. What do you think?
-u00a0AS
Dear AS,
Your girlfriend has been honest and told you what has happened. You do not have to jump to conclusions. Yes, she could have slept on the floor or asked for an extra bedding. But did you ask her why she didn't? Most hotel rooms with two beds are small and cramped. Maybe that was the reason. Or maybe they were all so exhausted that they simply crashed on the bed. Maybe she considers him as a buddy and did not think any further. It's best to ignore it and tell her if at all she finds herself in a similar situation again ufffd to ask for another bed!
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