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I am confused about.... my girlfriend

Updated on: 06 June,2011 09:19 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I've been having mixed feelings about my girlfriend for a while now. To clear my mind, we decided to give each other a break

I am confused about.... my girlfriend

Dear Diana,
I've been having mixed feelings about my girlfriend for a while now. To clear my mind, we decided to give each other a break. We decided not to see or contact each other for a month. Though she was hurt and felt humiliated, she agreed not be in touch with me for that duration. She told me it would be very difficult for her, but at my insistence she agreed. It's been two weeks now. Over the weekend, I accompanied some friends to a party. I was introduced to this girl who is a cousin of one of my friends. From the very first look, I felt completely drawn towards her. Now I feel she is the one for me! Does this mean my muddled mind is now clear? Should I tell it to my girlfriend or just let her be for now?
-u00a0Rocky


Dear Rocky,
Your muddled mind needs an overhaul. First, you tell your girl to lay off, and then promptly fall hook, line and sinker for someone else. What you need is a reality check. You say you have mixed feelings about your girlfriend. What makes you say this? It appears that she has been faithful to you but you have taken her for granted. Have you ever wondered what would happen if she had told you that she needed a break? I am sure you would have been hurt and humiliated. You need to sit down with you girl and honestly tell her about your feelings. She can dispel any doubts that you have. You need to have a frank conversation with her. Then decide your future course of action. I am sure your girl will help you overcome your doubts. The new girl that you encountered was probably just being nice to you. May be she was extremely social at the bash and you mistook her friendliness for something else! Probably she has a guy in her life already!

Is there nothing else to talk about?

Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old girl. All that my female college friends talk about is guys! What they told them, how they look at them, where they hung out with them. This irritates me to no end. Isn't there anything else to talk about at 18?
--u00a0RT

Dear RT,
There is lots to talk about in our universe! Perhaps you need to make more friends or join an extra-curricular class to meet a new group of youngsters. At your age, it is part of the conversation so to some extent it is okay. But when you feel they are going overboard, why not change the topic of conversation? You take the initiative and it will work. Chances are that you show your irritation, so they might be doing it to irritate you more!

My wife is so untidy!

Dear Diana,
My wife is just not bothered about how the house looks. She is extremely lax and does not mind that everything is in a mess. Previously we were staying in a joint family, so she was forced to keep her stuff in place. But ever since we shifted to a place of our own, she has just let herself go. Though we have a maid at home, she does not give proper instructions to her. She can't even keep her own stuff neatly in place and is always frantically searching for her things. She tells me I am a neatness freak. How do I make her understand?
--u00a0Homi

Dear Homi,

Make her understand the importance of cleanliness and neatness in the house. Tell her an organised life is much better and stress-free. The next time she can't find her stuff, tell her the reason. Explain to her that if she keeps her belongings in place, it would be so easy to find it when needed. And if she is in a mood to listen, tell her a clutter-free house is full of positive energies, a mess only attracts negative energies. It is a tough call but give it a shot. Also explain to the maid to do her work neatly. Your wife has got used to a mess that's why she does not care. Tell her if you have unexpected guests, it will be so embarrassing in front of them.



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