I live in a joint family. As I am the eldest daughter-in-law all the responsibilities of running the house are on me
Dear Diana,
I live in a joint family. As I am the eldest daughter-in-law all the responsibilities of running the house are on me. I am supposed to buy the daily provisions, cook, supervise the maids and attend to other domestic issues. My two sisters-in-law do nothing except for watch soaps all day long. In the evening they get ready, wait for their husbands to arrive and go out. Every evening they make a programme to either go for a movie, visit some relatives or go to a mall. My husband is not too fond of socialising and prefers to stay at home. How do I tell my in-laws that the other two also have to share the household responsibilities?
- H Mehta
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Dear H Mehta,
All this while you continued to be the do-gooder, now you are paying the price. They are now used to this lifestyle. It is a foregone conclusion that you will do all the work. As a first step stop being Ms Goody to everyone around in the house. Talk to your in-laws and hubby about shared responsibilities. It is likely that their reaction will be hostile. You will have to tackle it without offending anyone. Be firm, yet tactful. Also, try stepping out once in a while in the evenings. If your hubby is too tired and does not want to get out of the house, go out with friends or your side of the family. This will knock sense when they see work not done as it is not necessary that you have to do it every day! It will take time but they will realise it. And for goodness sake, stop being that Ms Nice right now! Be nice to only those who are nice to you.
My girlfriend is a spendthrift
Dear Diana,
I have a girlfriend who loves to splurge. She does not think twice before buying anything. For her, it is only about clothes, jewellery, shoesu00a0-- she is always trying to be one-up on the rest. How do I tell her that I cannot pander to her whims and desires always?
- Laurie
Dear Laurie,
The truth is that you have been splurging on her, so she does not feel the pinch. Next time tell her that she has to be within a budget. Right now she just asks and she gets it. You have to stop giving her wads of notes. Tell her instead, you'll need to start saving for a house. Knock sense into her before things go more out-of-hand.
My guy wants a physical relationship
Dear Diana,
I have been going out with this guy for two months. He wants a physical relationship, but I am not yet ready for it. I do not want to do something I will end up regretting. How do I tell him without hurting his feelings for me?
-u00a0BW
Dear BW,
You are not the only one to find yourself in such a situation. Many girls face such a problem. You have to explain your reasons. If he really loves you, he will understand. He has to respect you. If he shows no respect, he does not deserve your love.
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