I got married six months ago after six years of being together. I didn't have any doubts before the wedding. However, two weeks after we got back from our honeymoon I met a man at work who knocked me sideways
Dear Diana,
I got married six months ago after six years of being together. I didn't have any doubts before the wedding. However, two weeks after we got back from our honeymoon I met a man at work who knocked me sideways. I had an almost instant overwhelming sexual attraction and it was my only ever experience of love/lust at first sight. 
I got to know him a little better over the five weeks that followed and, although we never discussed anything, I think the attraction was mutual. He is everything I could ever have desired in a man. He's kind, gentle, intelligent, warm, full of empathy, etc. I shifted to another office for three months but now I am back and am desperate to bump into him and to rekindle our spark.
He has a girlfriend and they've been together for many years. He is about seven years younger than me. My husband is having counselling for premature ejaculation and to increase intimacy between us. He is lovely but I don't find him that physically attractive any more, although he is probably more conventionally attractive than my crush. I am stressed because we're planning on trying to start a family soon. Is it normal to have crushes when you're married? Is this just a phase?u00a0 Please help!
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
Just because you are married does not mean you will never experience crushes on other men. But, you have committed yourself to your husband, so stop obsessing about this co-worker. Think of it this way... your husband will meet women he finds attractive as well. How would you feel if he gave into his feelings of lust and started an affair with another woman? I imagine you wouldn't be too thrilled about it. Every relationship goes through different phases.
The first year is full of lust and passion, which turns into love. Over time, the initial spark will subside a bit, but it will lead to a deeper more genuine love. Many people fall victim to "love addiction" because they are always seeking the initial "high" one receives at the beginning of a relationship. Often this is what causes people to seek relationships outside the marriage.
The problem with this is that all relationships run the same course, so the cheater soon moves on from one lover to the next... always seeking that next high. My advice is to step back and take a reality check. This co-worker is off limits and should remain a fantasy, at most. Do not obsess on these feelings that are brought upon by hormones.
She left me for her parents!
Dear Diana,
My wife left home one day, saying she'd soon be severing all ties with me. I have a three-month old baby that is medically ill. I love my wife and have tried convincing her but she isn't ready to return to me. She is currently staying with her parents. I want to give this marriage a chance. She says she doesn't want to go against her family. She apparently loves her parents more than us and wouldn't hesitate to take an irrational decision in their favour. They think I am separating her from them. Will my marriage survive? What do you think?
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Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Has your wife left the child behind and gone to her parents alone? If so, you will have to figure out what drove her to that drastic decision. It's just wrong if it is so. If that isn't the case and she has taken the child with her, it still is unfair to you, to deprive you of caring for your child.
The reason she chose to go back to her parents seems a very flimsy one. If true, I would ask you to consider seeking out a mediator who would speak to her on your behalf and try to get her to see sense. If not, I think you should find out the real reason why she wants to break it off with you. The answers will come thereof.
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