I'm 25 years old. I'm having an affair with a 24 year old boy. Though he's younger than me, we both love each other and he understands me very well

Love or money? Which is the right choice for me?

Dear Diana,
I'm 25 years old. I'm having an affair with a 24 year old boy. Though he's younger than me, we both love each other and he understands me very well. The problem is that I belong to well-to-do family and he belongs to a middle class family. Actually I always wanted to marry a well settled boy having good income so that he can arrange outings, shopping and parties for me.

I love all these things and want a comfortable life. I have always had to struggle as my father is partial towards my brothers. He always fulfills their needs, but never gives me or my sisters any money. We are the ones who have always had to sacrifice.

I want my future to be comfortable. But he earns only Rs 15,000 per month, so he cannot afford these luxuries.
u00a0
I told him I won't be able to marry him, but did not state the money as the reason as I did not want to hurt him. But we love each other. Should I search for a well-settled boy who can fullfil all my needs?

Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
Very few women (or men for that matter) find a mate who truly loves them. Sometimes it takes them years, sometimes they never find one and are forced to compromise. You are lucky you've found a man who loves you and cherishes you. Don't let money stop you from building a future with him.

What if the rich guy you are looking for, marries you but doesn't love you? What if he ends up treating you the way your father is treating you? Yes, when there's no money, love can fly out of the window, but I don't think that's the case here.

First, you need to see if there are chances of career growth for your boyfriend that will bring in more money. Maybe if he betters his qualifications, he can be a top earner? After all, he is only 24 years old! You should also see how you can contribute to the income. Take up a job.

That will make you more independent and you won't have to depend on your father or your husband for funding your parties. Best thing would be for both of you to get jobs and settle down career-wise and see if a couple of years later, you still want to get married. Good luck.

I trust her, but she says I don't...

Dear Diana,
I am in love with a girl who was in my class in Std XI. After our HSC exams, she went to Bhopal for further studies. She has said (to a common friend) that I don't trust her so she doesn't want to continue our relationship. But there was never a time when I didn't trust her. She chats with me on a social networking site,u00a0 but doesn't want to patch up. What should I do?

AS

Dear AS,
I think this girl is just looking for a reason to walk out of the relationship. Perhaps the long distance thing isn't working out for her. It's not fair of her to send a message through a friend in stead of speaking to you directly, but obviously she lacks the courage. She doesn't want to patch up. She wants to leave. Accept it. That's all you can do.u00a0

My wife keeps fighting with me...

Dear Diana,
My wife and I got married one-and-a- half years ago. She belongs to Dubai and we've settled in India after the wedding. She doesn't want to stay here. She fights with me on every topic. She is not interested in getting intimate eitheru00a0-- she comes to bed and goes to sleep immediately. What kind of relationship is this? I love her and don't want to lose her.

Saif

Dear Saif,
You should have discussed this at length before you got married. Was it an arranged marriage? A lot of girls miss the place they are born and brought up in, and never get used to their husband's city. Marriages have broken up over this.

Are you willing to move to Dubai, find a job and start a new life there? If not, then you have to tell her that. And tell her to start accepting her new surroundings, or this marriage isn't going anywhere. You both need to have a long and open chat about this and find a solution before it gets worse.u00a0u00a0