My husband has..... been abusing me

I have been married for the last 16 years and have two children. I work in a private firm and draw a salary of R 10,000 a month

My husband has..... been abusing me

Dear Diana,
I have been married for the last 16 years and have two children. I work in a private firm and draw a salary of R 10,000 a month. I am a Hindu while my husband is a Muslim. For the last three years, my husband has been ill-treating me. He not only abuses me verbally but also physically, I also work part-time to make more money. He does not like me talking to anyone and has also created a scene at my work place. I asked for a divorce. He is refusing to let me go. What do I do? I can't turn to my in-laws and parents as they were unhappy with our marriage. He does not even provide for our kids.
-u00a0PD

Dear PD,
You have taken his nonsense for too long, so he continues with his high-handedness. Your husband is a typical male chauvinist pig. You married for love, but now things have turned ugly. From the way things appear, it looks like the situation is beyond repair. Have you ever talked to him and asked him why the situation has gone so bad? If he does not want to even engage in a conversation, there is no point sticking on. There is a limit to verbal abuses but if he is physically abusing you, there is no point in continuing with the relationship. Why don't you approach a women's welfare centre for help? Check with your close friends and office folks to help you. It is a tough call but you will have to for mental peace for you and your kids.

My girlfriend wants to take up a job in the Gulf

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend is an ambitious woman. She is keen to take up a job in the Gulf for three to four years to make some money. She has already started applying and doing the paperwork. Should I encourage her? Or flatly tell her a no?
-u00a0Vincent

Dear Vincent,
Your girlfriend has foresight. She is trying to make some money which she can invest wisely or utilise in a big purchase like a house. You should encourage her. There are many couples in long-distance relationships nowadays. May be she can explore opportunities for you too! It will professionally enrich her and add value to her CV. And the Gulf countries are full of Indians, so it will not be a case of being with unfamiliar people.

I don't like using cosmetics

Dear Diana,
A classmate of mine gave me a make up kit as a gift for my birthday. He knows I never use any cosmetics at all. I have known him since school days and we are together in college too. I am quite a tomboy. What on earth made him think of it? Should I return it to him?
-u00a0Tara

Dear Tara,
May be he feels that you should be more feminine. Get the hint, he wants you to be like the other girls. Still, if you detest make up, you can always gift it to someone else outside your circle of friends. Don't tell him that you disliked the gift, he will be hurt or he might just say, "It's time you used some makeup."