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One stupid mistake has cost me the love of my life

Updated on: 09 November,2010 09:28 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I love my ex boyfriend who I very non -- intentionally cheated on. Once he found out, he stopped speaking to me and did not listen even when I tried to explain

One stupid mistake has cost me the love of my life

Dear Diana,
I love my ex boyfriend who I very nonu00a0-- intentionally cheated on. Once he found out, he stopped speaking to me and did not listen even when I tried to explain.

That was two years ago. When I messaged him later, he replied and said we could keep in touch. I've texted him several times since then, but he replied only to two of them. I stopped seeing him around, and moved on to other guys, but lately, he's almost everywhere I go.

I see him everyday and can't hold back my feelings for him. Yet, he doesn't reply to my texts. I text him every couple of months so I don't seem desperate even though he is the only one I've ever loved and I really want him. I want to know if my messages are bugging him.

Sometimes, I think I am trying too hard to get him back when he is over me, but other times I feel he has never dated anyone after our break up and he still feels something for me. I don't know if I should continue trying.

Charming

Dear Charming,

How do you cheat unintentionally? You were in a relationship. And you cheated. Knowing the consequences fully well. Firstly admit you did something wrong, that you now regret. Just because he hasn't dated anyone in all the time you have been apart, doesn't mean anything.

Especially not that he still secretly wants you. Maybe he is off relationships. From whatever you've said it seems like your ex is hurt and isn't ready/willing to forgive you for straying. If he's not replying to your texts it is safe to assume, he isn't interested in staying in touch with you. About him not replying to your texts, I'd say that he isn't interested anymore. It's been two years.

He has probably got over you. I suggest you try to do the same. If you really want to give it one long shot, be honest and straight. Tell him that you know you messed it up and that you regret it every single day.

That you want him to give you a second chance, and that you will never hurt him again. Grovel if you have to, just let him see how much you want him back. After that, if he doesn't call/text back, then you cannot wait for him anymore.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0

Stuck between two girls...

Dear Diana,
I am 25. There is this girl I am involved with who irritates me by insisting that we get married. She also wants to sleep with me. But I love someone else and want to marry her. I don't like this girl's advances. How do I get out of it?

Ashraf

Dear Ashraf,
How difficult is it to say: Back off. If she doesn't know, spell it out to her you are in a relationship, and you are very happy with your girlfriend. Also, tell her that she is wasting her time with you and if she doesn't stop hounding you, you will stop talking to her and start ignoring her.

I think she's interested in me...

Dear Diana,

A few days back I met a girl at a travel agent's office when she booked my tour tickets. I was interested in her and so on her birthday, I paid her a surprise visit at a club with cake and flowers.

She was with her friends. She said that my gesture made her feel special. We met only once but talked several times over the phone and online. But she is never the one who starts a conversation.

I am the only one who does so. She told me she's in a relationship which isn't going well.u00a0 How can I make her realise that I want to be involved with her?u00a0 I was planning another surprise visit. Is that au00a0 good idea?

JSN

Dear Friend,
There is no point in making her feel special and getting her cake and flowers if she already has a boyfriend. A lot of girls will tell a guy that she is not happy in the relationship, to keep him interested. Meanwhile you hope that she will leave her boyfriend, which might never happen.

She might also be playing along, because you are a client and she doesn't want to lose business. I think you are being played. Be direct. Tell this girl that you know she's attached, you are interested but that you don't want to chase after a girl who is committed to another guy. Tell her to give you a call when she is single. Stop calling/meeting her unless she leaves the other guy.u00a0u00a0u00a0u00a0




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