Should I give up on my GF, who has left me pining?

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Should I give up on my GF, who has left me pining?

Dear Diana,
For the past eight years, I am in a relationship with a girl of a different caste (She is a Gujarati). Over the past few years, our relationship has been going through stressful times. Both of us had stable jobs in Mumbai and had plans of getting married. However, her father settled in the US. Initially she did not want to migrate but she did, saying she could not stay away from her parents. She also said we have better prospects and future if we move to another country instead of staying in Mumbai.

Illustration/Satish Acharya

I live in my own house with my mom and sister. My sister is due to get married this year. I told my girlfriend that following tradition, once she gets married, we can get married too. First she said she will marry me and settled in Mumbai only after I am done with all my responsibilities towards my mom and sister. Then she said she plans to get married by this year in the US. She is confused most of the times and contradicts her own statements.

A couple of years back she tried to betray me with a richer man because, according to her, I was not "financially stable". I forgave her and got a better job. Ever since she went abroad, she doesn't call often and whenever I call her, I get the response that she is not at home. I am beginning to wonder if she will come back to Mumbai. Recently, I met this girl who likes me, though I have told her everything about my past. I like her too, but I don't want to get into a relationship on the rebound. I don't know whether I should continue to hope about my long-time girlfriend or give up and move on.
Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Whenever you talk to your girlfriend next, have a honest chat with her. Tell her that you are having doubts that your relationship with her will work out. Ask her to be honest with you and admit if she too feels that things arent the same between you both now.

Distace does change things. There is definitely a problem if you both are fighting a lot. And she is not available whenever you call, perhaps she is trying to give you a hint that all is not well. Maybe she doesnt know how to break this to you over au00a0 longu00a0 distance call or email. Which is why you should bring it up. No point delaying this conversation. Meanwhile it is natural for you to feel drawn to this other girl. But don't complicate your life further at this point. Break it off with your girlfriend if you think that you've both outgrown the relationship, then pursue your new object of affection.

Shift is playing havoc with my focus
Dear Diana,
I am a 29 year old girl. I work eight hours shiftS from 3 am to 11 30 am. I have one day on and one day off. This schedule is killing me! When I come home, I am so tired. I get sleep 3 or 4 hours sleep, then I do my chores.

The night comes and I can't sleep until sometimes 11 pm and when finally I am sleeping there is my alarm 2 am time to go to work. Maybe in the future I will get day shift...but for now I would like to have more quality hours of sleep. The last time I did a mistake at work, my supervisor talked to me about it. I am having problems with my focus and my attention. How do I change this?
Jaya

Dear Jaya,
I think you should start looking fr a new job. Late shifts should always be in rotation. They have to give you a day shift every now and then! It sounds like a true nightmare. This is y ruining your life in terms of having any life outside of work.

You come home to a beautiful morning, wanting to enjoy it, but are too tired, then conk out about 11 a.m. Can you talk to your supervisor about shifting to day hours? If you had a serious mistake, you could explain that this would have never happened if you had had a day shift. It sounds like you need this job. But start looking for soemthing else. Because clearly this is draining you out.