For the past three years, I've been in a serious relationship with a guy. We've also been physical. We are really in love and will be getting married early next year
Dear Diana,
For the past three years, I've been in a serious relationship with a guy. We've also been physical. We are really in love and will be getting married early next year. The problem is, I have been physically involved with two other boyfriends in the past.
Things didn't work out and we broke up. My fianc ufffd is not aware of this. He knows about the guys, but when he asked me how serious I had got with them, I had told him it had not got serious. Now I am feeling guilty of not telling him the truth earlier. 
My fianc ufffd is a nice guy, but I if I tell him now, I may lose him. I can't imagine my life without him. Should I tell him before or after we get married? Or should I just leave it as it is? I am scared of what will happen if one day, he finds out from someone else.
Jyoti
Dear Jyoti,
Your fianc ufffd should be concerned about the now and the future. He should not be worrying about your past, and neither should you. It is good enough that he knows you've had two boyfriends in the past.
You do not have to share every detail with him. Very few Indian men's ego can handle that their woman has been with a man before. Now if you tell him the truth, you will spoil things.
He will feel deceived, then start wondering whether you have lied about other things too. You don't want to stir up trouble, when everything is smooth sailing. Chances are, if you tell him now, things might never be the same again.
There is a certain level of trust in your relationship, and if you bring this up, that trust will quickly vanish. So do the smart thing and forget about confessing. Also stop obsessing about it. There's no way he will ever find out.
Shaadi aayi, no money
Dear Diana,
I am 23 and going to be the maid of honour at my friend's wedding. In the past few weeks, I've paid 5k for my gown and spent on a wedding shower and gift for her. There are still loads of expenses I have to bear. I recently graduated and am still looking for a job. How do I tell her I just can't afford all this?
Liz
Dear Liz,
She is your friend. Be straight with her. I am sure she will understand. Tell her you are short on cash and cannot afford to spulrge on anything right now. If you can't muster up the strength to deliver the news, have a chat with her mother and ask her what would be the right thing to do. Make a list of the expenses. You can do the same with one third the expense, with a little imagination.
Does my wife love me?
Dear Diana,
My wife married me only because her parents wanted her to. When I had asked her if she had any boyfriend, she had said no. According to the tradition of gauna, she will come to my home after three years. However, whenever I ask her to come out with me somewhere, she refuses.
She doesn't like my company. But whenever I get angry at her, she saysu00a0 sorry, and says she will try to make my happy and always be mine but it will take some time. She says she doesn't have any feelings for me, but we have kissed a couple of times. What should I do? Does she love me or someone else?
Arju
Dear Arju,
Is she very young? Maybe she needs time to get used to the idea of getting married. You should appreciate that she has honestly told you that she has no feelings for you. This is an arranged match and she doesn't know you, so I can understand why she isn't comfortable. Give her time to get to know you, and you get to know her. Start by having long telephonic conversations.
Tell her about yourself, your likes, dislikes, your work etc. Ask her about hers. I don't blame her if she doesn't want things moving too quickly. Perhaps she fears something will go wrong. Or maybe her parents have asked her not to meet you too often, due to the familiarity-breeds-contempt factor. Be patient. And don't doubt so much.
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