We can’t make up our minds about each other

I have known my guy ever since my college days. We studied together and have been with each other since we were 19. We dated briefly but our relationship developed cracks as he found me to be immature

We can't make up our minds about each other

Dear Diana,
I have known my guy ever since my college days. We studied together and have been with each other since we were 19. We dated briefly but our relationship developed cracks as he found me to be immature. We are now 27 and have tried to move on but always seem to come back to each other. I know that he has been with another woman, for those couple of months I stopped talking to him. But then he came back in my life. I really care for him and I know he cares for me. He has issues with letting people get close to him, and gets upset when I tell him. If he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me and he knows that I want a relationship, why can't he end this? Why does he act like Mr Confused? And why does he keep coming back to me?
-u00a0Roma

Illustration/Satish Acharya

Dear Roma,
First, you need to clear the muddle in your guy's mind. He is one helluva confused soul as you state in your letter. More importantly, why have you allowed yourself to be at his disposal whenever he wants? You have let him take an upper hand in the relationship, this is the reason he feels you are there whenever he needs you and then promptly discards you when he does not desire you. He does this simply because he knows that you will always take him back despite whatever he does. You need to change your stance towards him. You say you love him and he cares for you. After being together for seven years, you both have yet to make up your minds. You'll are no longer teenagers but adults now. Both of you are 27 and it is high time you think of the future. Both of you need to sit down and discuss where your relationship stands and what you'll want to do in the future. Take charge of your life and don't allow him to dictate terms.

My girlfriend's pals are crazy

Dear Diana,
My girlfriend has this big band of friends she hangs out with. What bothers me is that three of the girls are really wild and do all sorts of crazy things. I fear for my girl as I am sure because of them she will land in trouble some day. When I tell her about it, she tells me not to worry. But I cannot stop worrying when she is with them!
- HM

Dear HM,
Relationships are based on trust. There are all sorts of people around you, that does not mean you have to do what they do. Your girlfriend has done the right thing by telling you not to worry about her. She is a mature person and knows what is right and wrong. The girls are just having a good time; it's just harmless fun. You don't need to take on the Mr Worry role. Let her have a good time with her friends.

I am in no hurry to wed

Dear Diana,
I am 23 years old and have just started working. I have been getting marriage proposals. Everyone asks me and my parents what we have decided. They want to know if I have found my Mr Right. But I am in no hurry to marry. How do I explain?
-u00a0Kavya

Dear Kavya,
This is an oft-asked question by family and friends. That's how it has been since ages. Let people ask what they want, you are only answerable to your parents. As long as they are cool about it, why do you worry about what others are saying. Why do you even react? You get going with your life. Let them keep asking. They are doing their job, you continue doing yours.