Dear Diana,
My girlfriend of three years has presented me with the idea that she is unsure about our relationship. We live together and she is everything to me. I told her that the feeling is not mutual. I still love her dearly. She is my first thought in the morning and my last before bed. Lately, she seems withdrawn. She will not look me in the eye some days and others she seems madly in love with me. She says she wants to focus on her future right now and assures me that it is nothing I am doing. She has not left yet but my intuition is telling me she will, soon. When I look at her I am overcome with grief. How do I keep her? What can I do to stop her from leaving? I have no pride, I will do anything ethical to keep her in my life. It feels like everything I am doing is just compounding the problem.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
It sure seems like she has made up her mind. She will stick by her decision. Think about it. You've done everything humanly possible to convince her that this relationship has a future. If she can't see that, you cannot compel her to. You can keep trying but eventually, even you will have to give up, knowing that she doesn't see things the way you do.

He takes his ex tension out on me

Dear Diana,
I had an argument with my boyfriend and he told me he has enough stress to deal with from his ex-wife, he didn't want more from me and that I was starting to sound like her. So I should like never argue and always be agreeable just because he has all this stress with ex? I don't go out of my way looking for an argument but I don't want to be a doormat either.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
The short answer is, of course, no you should not. Bottling your frustrations and feelings up is never going to be healthy for you or ultimately the relationship. In this specific case its impossible to assess the validity of his claims BUT it seems to me he is in danger of taking that stress out on you. Of course, you should be supportive where you can but that does not equate to blind submission.

My boyfriend lookes at women in short skirts

Dear Diana,
I nudged my boyfriend for looking round quickly at a very pretty woman in a short skirt. I notice he looks round at blonde women in short skirts a lot and its embarrassing. I'm slim and attractive and not insecure but every time I gently nudge him he accuses me of being paranoid. I really am not. He says he's scared to look anywhere now and I'm made to feel bad! I have been in two other long-term relationships without this problem. He says he looks at everyone but he really doesn't!