Expectations change in relationships with age: Study

New research has found that our expectations with respect to relationships change with age which might explain why people are dissatisfied or lonely as they get olderThats where loneliness comes from suggests Kings College London graduate student Samia AkhterKhan the first author of this new study on the subject It was published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological ScienceLoneliness results from a discrepancy between expected and actual social relationships AkhterKhan saidTogether with Duke psychology and neuroscience PhD Leon Li AkhterKhan and colleagues coauthored a paper on why people feel lonely particularly in later life and what we can do about itThe problem that we identified in current research was that we havent really thought about What do people expect from their relationships AkhterKhan said We work with this definition of expectations but we dont really identify what those expectations are and how they change across cultures or over the lifespanIn every relationship we expect certain basics We all want people in our lives who we can ask for help Friends we can call on when we need them Someone to talk to People who get us Someone we can trust Companions with whom we can share fun experiencesBut the teams theory called the Social Relationship Expectations Framework suggests that older people may have certain relationship expectations that have gone overlookedAkhterKhans first clue that the causes of loneliness might be more complex than meets the eye came from a year she studied aging in Myanmar from 2018 to 2019 At first she assumed people generally wouldnt feel lonely after all people are so connected and live in a very closeknit society People have big families theyre often around each other Why would people feel lonelyBut her research suggested otherwise It actually turns out to be different she said People can still feel lonely even if they dont spend much time aloneWhat efforts to reduce loneliness have neglected she said is how our relationship expectations change as we get older What we want from social connections in say our 30s isnt what we want in our 70sThe researchers identified two agespecific expectations that havent been taken into account For one older adults want to feel respected They want people to listen to them take an interest in their experiences and learn from their mistakes To appreciate what theyve been through and the obstacles they have overcomeThey also want to contribute to give back to others and their community and pass along traditions or skills through teaching and mentoring volunteering caregiving or other meaningful activitiesFinding ways to fulfil these expectations as we get older can go a long way towards combating loneliness in later life but research has largely left them outTheyre not part of the regular scales for loneliness Li saidPart of the reason for the oversight may be that often the labour and contributions of older people are unaccounted for in typical economic indices said AkhterKhan who worked in 201920 as a graduate research assistant for a Bass Connections project at Duke on how society values care in the global economyAgeism and negative ageing stereotypes dont help she added A 2016 World Health Organization survey spanning 57 countries found that 60 per cent of respondents said that older adults arent well respectedLoneliness isnt unique to older people It is a young peoples problem as well AkhterKhan said If you look at the distribution of loneliness across the lifespan there are two peaks and one is in younger adulthood and one is in old ageEven before the COVID19 pandemic world leaders began sounding the alarm on loneliness as a public health issue Britain became the first country to name a minister for loneliness in 2018 Japan followed suit in 2021Thats because loneliness is more than a feeling it can impact health Persistent loneliness has been associated with higher risks of dementia and Alzheimers disease heart disease and stroke and other health problems Some researchers suggest its comparable to or riskier than smoking and obesityThe researchers hope that if we can better understand the factors driving loneliness we might be better able to address itAlso ReadHeres how peoples approach towards relationships is changing in IndiaThis story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed agencies Midday accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability trustworthiness reliability and data of the text Midday managementmiddaycom reserves the sole right to alter delete or remove without notice the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever