Mental health experts share ways to deal with feelings of loneliness this Diwali

As every holiday movie has shown us the festive season can be stressful for some But unlike their happy endings where the cine universe writer and director places solutions into protagonistsrsquo laps reality might paint a different picture Not skipping over to the good part but helping us navigate towards individual definitions of happiness four mental health experts detail ways to deal with feelings of loneliness isolation and stress this DiwaliRecreate the celebratory mood by yourself or with your chosen familyUnderstanding triggersFirstly why does it feel like the holidays induce a pronounced sense of loneliness and stress when theyrsquore marketed to us as the happiest times of the year This might be where the problem begins at the weight of expectations to have celebrations appear a certain way and other factors at play that might contribute to a sense of loss and a feeling of exclusion and inadequacy Stress can creep in when trying to celebrate while living away from home friends and family being tied up with work commitments or facing issues with financial management and planningLall suggests acknowledging a difficult feeling spending a few moments with that feeling and trying to understand what the feeling is trying to tell usIs life pictureperfectPressure and expectations can come from comparison with other peoplersquos celebrations through social media advertisements and films Counselling psychologistUtkarsha Jagga explains ldquoWe try to match a certain picture of happiness that has been sold to us Any incongruence between how celebrations lsquoshouldrsquo look and how they actually are can provoke feelings of incompetence insecurity jealousy resentment and disappointmentrdquo She reminds us that subjecting ourselves to comparisons is an unfair way to treat ourselvesUtkarsha Jagga Disha Manchekar Itisha Peerbhoy and Riona LallContributors of isolationPsychologist and trauma therapist Disha Manchekar shares ldquoItrsquos a common phenomenon to expect togetherness during the festive season however it is not possible for everyone Those who have moved out recently or struggle to form platonic relationships may experience loneliness comparatively more Meeting family members with whom you have poor relations may be stressful And if you are a caretaker of a loved one the goals of recovery and expectations to celebrate festivals may stress yourdquoPsychotherapist Itisha Peerbhoy adds ldquoAlienation from our roots occurs in many ways at times you lose connection with someone because work has taken over and on other occasions the relationship is not what it used to be or you are dealing with grief Illness and caretaking can change your equation with a loved one where you go from companion to caregiver making it tough to celebrate the way you used tordquoJagga shares ldquoOther factors include feeling a sense of forced celebration or joy in environments which are toxic or abusiverdquo People living with mental health illnesses might have to deal with more trigger points She adds ldquoAnyone with lived experiences of mental illness or a traumatic association with this time of the year might have lesser social support be empathised with less or have low representation and space in festive narrativesrdquoFace the loneliness deal with the triggersThough loneliness can feel daunting Manchekar reminds us that it can be coped with She suggests ldquoEngage in compassionate selftalk without passing judgment The first step is to identify and feel the emotions and consider what is triggering them Next ask yourself what would make you feel betterrdquoMental health professional Riona Lall reminds us that there is no need to fit into a dominant idea of celebrations or how we should feel during festivals ldquoWe might ignore or suppress an unpleasant emotion in the hope that it will go away but sometimes it can get stronger when you try to ignore itAcknowledging how we feel is importantrdquo Lall continues ldquoPerhaps loneliness makes its presence felt because it could be our mindrsquos way of telling us to find meaningful connectionsrdquo She remarks that developing these connections could be explored in many ways mdash meeting friends or colleagues spending some time amidstnature exploring new parts of our city spending time with those not as fortunate as us could help in navigating difficult emotions that arise from lonelinessHow to rewrite the meaning of celebrationJagga notes that as adults we may have more control over our traditions and can work towards a chosen family to celebrate with create new traditions and rituals for ourselves and rewrite narratives that align with our definition of joy She adds that itrsquos okay to take time away from the chaos of festivities and be mindful of our social battery ldquoDonrsquot pressurise yourself to consistently feel the same intensity of happiness across days our emotions come and go like waves and being aware of them allows us to stay in the moment and tend to our needsrdquoFor those who are grieving Lall shares ldquoParticipate in rituals that connect you with your loved ones acknowledging the feeling of loss connecting with others who may have undergone similar experiences or taking time away from festivitiesrdquo Peerbhoy suggests undertaking simple gestures to make a festival meaningful for a caregiver and their wardShe shares ldquoDecorate a space perform meaningful rituals like making a small altar or a celebratory dish wearing new clothes or lighting a lamprdquoPeerbhoy suggests a more balanced view of what a festive season could mean for us ldquoRemember that being part of a crowd is not the only true meaning of celebration It can also be a time of reflection and renewal where we recreate the meaning of festivities and choose what we would like it to signify to usrdquo she concludes