A love as boundless as the ocean

Commodore R P S Ravi and Marilyn lsquoLynrsquo Carmel Mendezrsquos love story is unlike any otherThe maverick sailor 69 had chosen his own name as well as his career which includes 37 years in the Navy Born into a Sikh family Ravi also picked his own religion and life partner And when the couple welcomed two sons into the world he helped them discover their own individualityThe love story began in 1978 when Ravi who had topped the Indian Navy Entrance Exam was posted at the Navyrsquos leadership training establishment INS Agrani in Coimbatore where he met his lady loveIn his words Lynrsquos charming ways touched his heart and the tinkle of heavenly music they created hasnrsquot stopped resonating ldquoHer smile has always been the sound of the glockenspiel her talk breathlessly exciting and she is simplicity personifiedrdquo he saidCommodore R P S RavildquoOnce when I teased her for being fat she pointed to a buffalo and asked lsquoAs fat as that is itrsquo I was bowled over by her innocence and I vowed never to tease her againrdquo recollected Ravi who after retiring in 2010 served as director of the College of Naval Warfaremdasha premier college for higher commandmdashand then the head of onshore and offshore security for a leading Indian multinational corporationAll set to celebrate 42 years of married life next March Ravi left Mumbai and the corporate world seven years ago when he lost his mother and Lyn was diagnosed with Alzheimerrsquos an irreversible disorder where the brain starts to shrink and the patient is no longer able to function independentlyThe diagnosis given by the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences Bengaluru prompted Ravi to shift to his ancestral home in Kandaghat in Himachal Pradesh the sleepy town where he grew upAlso Read Mumbairsquos new Dandiya queen Kinjal Dave shares how she lives with comparisons to Falguni PathakA typical day for him starts and ends with tending to the needs of his 65yearold wife who has lost her ability to speak and is in an almost childlike stateldquoCOVID times brought a fresh set of challenges when for almost three years I had to singlehandedly take care of all household chores I start my day at 430 am and do meditation and mudras for Lynrsquos pranik healingrdquo said RavildquoLyn who can no longer communicate wakes up at around 10 I take her to the toilet and give her a bath and allopathic and naturopathic medicines This is followed by an online speech and memory session with a Pune doctor The rest of the day is spent cooking feeding her exercising and watching television I sing her favourite songs while combing her hair Luckily we got three housekeepers last week and the schedule has become easier for merdquo said the navy veteran who cites Guru Gobind Singh as his inspirationRavi who blogs under the name of sunbyanynamemdashRavi being the Sanskrit word for sunmdashrecalled that before marriage in 1980 the duo had taken an express train to Palghat Dam On the way back they got into a jam at Coimbatore railway station as the tickets purchased by him were for a passenger train They were fined by the ticket collectorldquoThe receipt for the fine was in the name of Lieutenant and Mrs R P S Ravi We still possess that receipt as the first lsquoofficialrsquo acknowledgement of our intentrdquo he said with a twinkle in his eyeldquoOn March 24 1981 my friend A S Bajwa took us to a temple where a Hindu priest married a Sikh boy and a Catholic girl In the afternoon we went to the district court and got our marriage registeredrdquo said Ravi They had a traditional Punjabi wedding a year laterReading an inscription on an artefact purchased years ago from a souvenir shop in Mumbai Ravi summarises the couplersquos life philosophy ldquoWe donrsquot have much but we have each otherrdquo37The no of years Commodore R P S Ravi served in the Navy