When 16-year-old Kiara (name changed to protect identity) started staying aloof, her concerned parents took her to a therapist. During sessions there, they realised that Kiara was undergoing stress on account of an eight-month old relationship with a boy in her group. The boyfriend, she told the counsellor, was taking most of the decisions for them - who they should be friends with, which movies they should watch, etc. Kiara was missing having control of her own life, but continued in the relationship because she thought this is what dating was like. Under peer influence, she started dating the first person she found. With little communication between her and friends, there was no reference point available to her about what a healthy relationship could be like.

The emotional abuse that this teenager suffered is symptomatic, a recent study has found, of abuse - emotional and physical - suffered by those in the 16-21 age group. The study, conducted by five third-year home science students from the Department of Human Development at Nirmala Niketan College of Home Science, New Marine Lines, between July and September this year, reported that of the 50 persons they interviewed in the 16-18 age group, 44 per cent reported that "slapping, hitting with fist or something hard besides the first" happened "often" in the relationship. Forty per cent said it happened sometimes. The questionnaire also asked the respondents (both male and female) if they had witnessed or been victims of abuse such as "kick the partner", "try to choke", "push/slam/bang against a wall" to which the "often" and "sometimes" responses were 22% and 44%, 24% and 46%, and 28% and 44% respectively.