Illustration/Ravi Jadhav

And, finally, I accept that perhaps it is fake news that keeps us together as a society, as weddings keep extended families together by force, chance, choice and habit. Like weddings, it gives us occasion to talk to or at each other, otherwise who'd bother? This week's rumour: khichdi declared national dish. Before you could say 'two minutes, haan?' social media dished out not only several tweets, but entire articles, in the same way a matchmaker fans out photographs of eligibles. It was like a dialogue script for characters in a genre-solid Indian wedding movie. Khichdi ke chaar yaar, dahi, papad, something, achaar - chacha/kaka, who can be relied on for clichés and PJs at all times, except uttered with shiny enthusiasm like he has just coined it. You don't like khichdi? You prefer pizza, burger, chowmein, foie gras is it? Angrez chale gaye libtard chhod gaye - NRI uncle, who has become vegan after going to foreign and eyes jalebis with distaste.