It is tiresome to keep repeating that Rahul is a dud. My suggestion instead is that the Congress get him married, against his will if necessary, in order to stave off extinction

If I were on the Congress Working Committee (CWC), India's oldest party's highest decision-making body (well, in theory at least), then in order to save my institution, I'd stand up and propose that the CWC move a resolution asking party vice-president Rahul Gandhi to immediately get married.