We have a lot of festivals in India, all of which celebrate our myriad gods and goddesses. Except Halloween, which celebrates the fact that you went to an IB school and then went abroad to study, only to return more annoying than ever before. We have Navratri (or as they call it in Bengal, ‘Kahaani’) which celebrates the goddess Durga. We have Dussera, which celebrates the end of Raavana, and we have Diwali, which marks the time that Lord Rama ended his exile and returned to Vijay Sales for BEST EVER OFFER ON LCD TV (PLUS FREE DVD PLAYER THAT WILL EXPLODE WHEN YOU TURN IT ON FREE).

But in the end, all these festivals celebrate deities that lead back to one true god. Which got me wondering, who is this one true god? Surely, it would have to be an entity that represents something that all these festivals have in common. This has, in logical fashion, led me to believe that India’s one true god is the traffic jam.