Philosophical question; if a tree fell in a forest and nobody was around to see it, how long before the Mumbai Police raided it for no reason? Last weekend, the fuzz raided a club named LIV. All clubs these days have chic minimalist names that mean nothing but sound cool, like ‘LIV’ and ‘Ra’ and ‘Jai Sridevi Family Restaurant and Quarter Bar (A/C)’

The police raided it for being open past the city’s 1:30 am deadline, and corralled all 200 people in the place off to the police station. Now while I love surprise afterparties as much as the next guy, this seemed a bit excessive, even by Mumbai Police standards. More entertaining still is the fact that in the end, people just pushed the gates open and went home, making for the world’s least violent (but most badly overdressed) prison-break.