While a fight over the meaning of Karva Chauth broke out online, I was at a conference on porn (no symbolism intended) having a parallel discussion on marriage with the activist Meena Seshu.

Meena asked what marks of marriage do Punjabi women wear. I hazarded the guess, “Maybe none,” as I’ve never spotted the sindoor or mangalsutra among the Punjabi women I know. “But you can kind of tell by demeanour,” I added, not a very scientific explanation that.