96 and glowing

I am in deep gratitude for being able to celebrate Amma Indu Sheddersquos 96th birthday last week with about 25 guests in Panvel where she lives two hours from Mumbai Shersquos in good health and equally importantly in good spirits Shersquos always keen to learn new bhajans that she can sing at the temple that she visits daily ldquoso that God is not boredrdquo listening to her current repertoire of bhajansAdorable naI had already given Amma her autobiography that I wrote for her 95th birthdaymdashEmpress of Her Destiny Autobiography of Indu Shedde Vegetable Art Queen and much more It took me about four years to put it together The research interviews writing editing sourcing photos permissions layout and printing later became much more challenging because of the pandemic But once yoursquove given your mum her autobiography as a birthday gift gosh itrsquos hard to top that And I decided that nothing could be a more beautiful gift than for Amma to spend time with loved ones she rarely sees as she lives outside Mumbai But a special gift for Amma was when brilliant photographer Chirodeep Chaudhuri exeditor of photography National Geographic Traveller India and a friend very kindly suggestedagreed to photograph Amma on her birthdayNow organising a birthday party is entirely different from organising a birthday party for mostly senior citizens and geriatric guests especially if the party is out of Mumbai At the very least you need to arrange pick up and drop for every guest and ensure that the menu is soft to chew for ldquoindenturedrdquo guests It was much more complicated as I had tried to finalise all key things since early February as I would be away for nearly a month returning to Mumbai just a day before Bday So much of it was organised long distance via WhatsApp messages while I was at the Berlin Film Festival and later as I travelled to catch up with friends in Bayreuth Oberwalgern and Amsterdam And I got a lot of support from my sister Sarayu KamatAlso read To all the homes I loved beforeIt was nice and loungy as guests arrived all day at Ammarsquos cottage in a senior citizenrsquos home in a 15acre orchard There was a superb traditional Konkani lunch with muga randai bean sprouts cooked in a spicy coconut base bhenda upkari ladyfinger stirfry dal rice chapati fresh amla gooseberry pickle and shevaiya kheeri vermicelli dessert with kajukishmish For tea there was Dutch truffle cake hot mixed bhajiyas farali pattice Dharwar pedhas Ammarsquos favourite as it originally comes from her hometown in Karnataka and chaicoffeeAmma and our loved ones chatted and sang songs The manager the very kind Madhav Kini did a small pooja for Amma in the temple nearby where we sang bhajans I invited our guests to share any thoughts about Amma if they wishedmdashwhat they likedadmired about her any incident they remembered Irsquove been to many memorials and my grief is always tinctured with disappointment when people praise the dead Arre baba theyrsquore gone and canrsquot hear you So if you love or admire someone tell them now they need to hear it when theyrsquore still around I was very moved when Sheelu Melwani Aunty read out a twopage eulogy to Amma ldquoShersquos an angel God has sent her for merdquo Sheelu Aunty declared effusively Amma is a champion recycler and Sheelu Aunty is her partner in crime sewing over 400 beautiful bags that Amma has designed with leftover bits of cloth all gifted to friends Only later I noticed in the photographs that Ammarsquos close friend Sunanda Rao was gently tugging Sheelu Auntyrsquos hand while she was reading her eulogymdashand I wept Itrsquos because Sunanda Aunty comes most evenings to read books to Amma as Amma finds it difficult and instinctively felt that if anything needed to be read to Amma it should be her I was so deeply humbled by her love and affection and for being there for Amma There are many others too including Vishakha Patil Suvarna Shedde and Padmini Basrur who are very kind to Amma in their own special ways Amma was totally thrilled with her birthday and to see her smile means the world to meMeenakshi Shedde is India and South Asia Delegate to the Berlin International Film Festival National Awardwinning critic curator to festivals worldwide and journalistReach her at meenakshisheddemiddaycom