And the award goes to...

'What does it say about movie standards when Dabangg wins a National Award?' That pertinent question, from a certain Shivangi Yadav, was drowned out by congratulatory messages from Salman Khan's gazillion fans on Twitter.

He may have replied to some, but I can't be sure on account of my being unable to understand most of his comments. What I did understand, and find amusing, was this tweet by GKhamba: 'Katrina Kaif wins National Award for best sex scene with a mango.'

Still rocking
Music icon Cher turns 65 this week. So, naturally, fans clogged timelines with sickly sweet birthday wishes. The one I liked best came from Lucas Brenton: 'Happy 65th Birthday Cher, and Happy Sweet 16th to Cher's face!' Check out her latest photos to see what he means.

So long, farewell
Doomsayers predicting the end of the world at 6 pm on May 21 prompted a lot of people to post their 'End of the World Regrets'. These included 'not kissing Justin Bieber when I met him' and 'never having an in-depth conversation with a telemarketer to see how long they last before hanging up.'

It's not about the bike
It wasn't a good day for cyclist Lance Armstrong, who was accused by a former team-mate of using performance-enhancers in the past. Armstrong has always denied such claims, but in the words of a certain Eric Stangel: 'Who cares? Technically, isn't using a bicycle to get from one place to another cheating?'

The last word
In the wake of more goof-ups from the CBI, actor Ranvir Shorey had this to say: 'Dear General Musharraf, as far as banana republics go, our banana is almost as big as yours.' And this, from TV personality Derek O'Brien: 'What percentage of average human beings can lick their left armpit? Try.' We now know what he does on his days off.like this: 'If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. Of course, no one would have remembered him either ufffd'