Damn! If only I was a Tam!

What would it take to have a genealogy that turned my name into a good Dravidian nom de couer like Sambasivan Anantharamakrishnan Iyengar Murthy

Damn! If only I was a Tam!

What would it take to have a genealogy that turned my name into a good Dravidian nom de couer like Sambasivan Anantharamakrishnan Iyengar Murthy? Why couldn't I be lucky enough to have a loaded family tree filled with juicy generations of ancestors who farmed in the Cauvery delta or were merchants in a small town like Madurai?

Why, why could I not have been born with a dhoti attached to me, and a Pavlovian love for curd rice?
It has nothing to do with the bulging grey cells I would have automatically inherited if I was born "Madrasi" (as the Northies so disparagingly call the dudes born in this heat-seared state).

And absolutely nothing to the fact that I would have had chromosomes geared to fantasising over women who possessed more than ample assets ufffd and we're not talking bank balances here. It really, really has nothing to do with the fact that I could spout verses from the Thirukural, every time I wanted to woo pretty Karpagam Selvi, next door.

These Tamilians have always been superior. They've grown up with women like Hema and Rekha and Sridevi across the street from them. They have Dhoni as their winning Super Kings captain. And they have hit film songs with improbable choruses like Apadi Podu Podu Podu that are screeched in tune to elastic hip jerks at 650 rpm.

But the icing on the top of the idli is to be a legit Tamilian with a voter's ID, in a year that elections happen! Ah, that is bliss.

This year, the fat woman (sorry, the attractive, amply covered lady) from Poes Gardens has pledged rice at one buck a kilo. Laptops to all school kids (now if only they can get electricity in the villages to run the laptops on). And if you're a farmer, this could be your dream: vote for her party and get four goats.

An independent candidate from one of the interior hick towns has promised the yokels Nano cars and sovereigns. Now, the gold seems fine, but to give cars to guys more attuned to bullock carts?

The man in power is diverting some of the many crores that his family did not collect from the telecom scam, and that he knows nothing about, to provide free grinders to every household (You need to step up K, Jaya has promised a free grinder AND a mixer!).

Tell me, my Chennai friends, what does it take to be born in Rajini saar's shadow?u00a0

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