Frisky faux pas

The other day Kalam got frisked, before he got on to an American airline

Frisky faux pas

The other day Kalam got frisked, before he got on to an American airline. The airline is supposed to have first claimed that they would frisk anyone and everyone except God himself. But then the uproar became louder than they thought it could and they had to tender an official apology.

Kalam, it is rumoured, good-humouredly went through the checks without making a fuss. And jetted off to America to decide on the future of spatial technology or something equally weighty.u00a0

Well, if American airlines can run frisks on former Indian Heads of State, we should tender a frisk for a frisk, the next time an important American comes visiting.

Imagine one of our Mumbai paandus at Chattrapati Shivaji International Airport, rather full of his importance, asking Hilary Clinton to step behind the curtain and to lift up her blouse so he could well, check her out.
("Mey-dam! Get here, I say! And take off cover, please!")

Can you imagine the du00e9tente that would have caused? The Secretary of State of the most "powerful democracy in the world" gets checked to verify whether that powder in her compact was Coco Chanel or Cocaine Colombee.

The President of the United States would have stood at his straightest, most indignant best in the middle of the Rose Lawn and denounced India from the pulpit of his righteous anger. The World Press (read most of the trash that centers around New York's publishing circles), would have carried the international incident on the front pages of their broadsheets. The Navy, Air Force, Army and Guantanamo Bay would have all been directed toward our latitude. Indian students in American universities would have been stoned. Tandoori sandwiches on Fifth Avenue would have been shunned. And NRI's in Silicon Valley would have all been deported (okay, we won't go that far, the entire tech capital of the U.S would probably collapse if the brownskins left.)

But you get the picture. Theu00a0 entire US of A would have been up in arms. And at least 13 of the G-14 countries would have joined in on the protests against our poor paandu.

Now imagine if Bill was accompanying Hilary and he got frisked too. The mind boggles as to what the security guys would have found on him - but if one had to wash his dirty linen in public his pockets would have probably containedu00a0 a couple of iffy things that are not mentioned in polite circles.u00a0u00a0u00a0

The other day, I heard there was a delegation headed down from the States, which included Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox and Uma Thurman.

Customs officials are gearing up for special frisks, I believe.