My problem is that my girlfriend has started treating me like a bank account.
Hi Sandhya,
My problem is that my girlfriend has started treating me like a bank account. All our fights seem to culminate in my having to buy her presents, after which she starts showering me with love and affection again, until the next quarrel comes along. If I try to play tit-for-tat and demand presents from her, it's met with furious tantrums and tears. It wasn't always like this. We were very happy in the relationship for about a year till she lost her sister. Since then, her demands have increased. I understand she's going through a hard time, but I don't know how much longer I can take this. I'm not rich and I want to feel important to her for reasons other than my bank balance. What do I do?
ABC
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Dear ABC,
Okay, this is a tricky situation because of her trauma.u00a0 We cannot and must not judge her because different people react differently when they are grieving. She needs your help and you need to have a loving chat with her and encourage her to take try some sort of therapy even if it is a healing therapy. Having said that, you need to stop giving in to her demands and buying her presents; it's ridiculous and does not solve the problem. What you are doing is called convenient parenting and it's harmful in the long run. If she threatens to break-up, let her. She will realise her mistake and if she doesn't you are better off without her.
Love, Sandhya
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