There he was, minding his own business and checking to see what he could filch from the expensive First Class baggage coming out of the hold.

Phony Facts

There he was, minding his own business and checking to see what he could filch from the expensive First Class baggage coming out of the hold. And he goes and puts his paws into the one bag that's completely off limits. If he had stolen any other phone, the authorities at the airport would have turned a blind eye to the monogrammed Vertu gone missing. There would have been a cursory check, an uninterested shrug of the shoulders, and life would've gone on in that usual paan-chewing, gun-toting, slur-swearing way that Delhiites so insouciantly possess.

But the poor guy rips open the zip from the one Vuitton marked with a G. But then who would guessu00a0 that Rahul Gandhi's baggage is allowed to mix with the mortal suitcases of lesser Indians? One would think that a bullet proof lounge, lined with velvet and with its own champagne-serving hostess was where G's suitcases travelled on their own recliners. Although the poor guy didn't realise, half the world and People magazine would've given an arm and leg to check the phone book on that Blackberry. Rumours abound that the baggage handler had just gotten off the phone from Obama, and was planning to order a couple of nuke buttons to be pressed ufffd when he felt the airport security pressing into his side.u00a0

The sms on the phone, they say, were quite pedestrian, unfortunately. There was a ho-hum mother-son exchange ( R: "Hey, what you doing Mom?"u00a0 S: "Nothing much, caro. Just checking to see whether I can make pasta out of Patnaik." R: "Ok Mama, am just consolidating the Swiss bank accounts, have plans to drop in and see Aunty Liz at Windsor Castle.) and a couple being sent back and forth between him and a hot starlet.u00a0 S: ("S" for Starlet, and not to be confused with the "S" for Mama in the previous sms swap.) "Hey R!u00a0 Tell me how much you love me!" R: " I love you so much, I'm going to carve Bihar into two and name the new state Starlet-pur."

Sandwiched in between, were nudie pics to keep him entertained during marathon CWC meetings. Every guy does need a little entertainment in between making momentous decisions of policy, doesn't he?

But the phone is now back in Rahul's hands. A couple of Black Cats have been sacked ("You can't even look after a phone, and you expect to take care of the future King of India? Humph!). The baggage handler is going to be in jail for the rest of his life ufffd they do have to check whether he has terrorist links, you see ufffd and the Indira Gandhi International Airport head has been made to kneel in front of the matriarch's picture for letting her baba down.

And things have now gone back to the usual unflurried abbe-ek-paan-do days.u00a0

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