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Spinning a Chandrayaa(r)n

Updated on: 05 October,2009 08:25 AM IST  | 
Hemal Ashar | hemal@mid-day.com

India's recent space mission where Chandrayaan-I was hailed for discovering water on the moon has led this columnist to wonder:

Spinning a Chandrayaa(r)n

India's recent space mission where Chandrayaan-I was hailed for discovering water on the moon has led this columnist to wonder:

Whether the Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation will explore the moon as an alternate source of water or would Mumbai's tankers get there first.

Whether there will now be a movie called: Hum Aapke Hain Chandrayaan with John Abraham zipping to the moon, ripping off his astronaut's space suit and showing off his six pack abs.

Whether in the future tourists to the moon will be stuck, because spacecraft employees decide to go on strike like the Air India pilots did recently? Wouldn't this be a matter of utmost gravity?

Whether travellers to the moon can collect frequent flier miles.

Whether one would be able to carry only 20 kg baggage to the moon.


Whether Mumbai's fashion week would now have something called the, 'Lunar Collection' where wisp-thin models flaunt some bizarre clothing by a fashion designer designing outfits for space tourists.

Whether a house on the moon would cost as much as a house in south Mumbai. Or would real estate on the moon go for much less?

Whether Mr Ratan Tata will launch a small, Rs one-lakh car for the moon called Moon-o instead of Nano.

Whether our politicians on austerity drives would fly second class to the moon or even ask Mamata Banerjee to start a train service.

Whether the moon with all its craters would have a Formula 1 track, with Vijay Mallya's Force India practising on Mumbai's pot-holed roads.

Whether Mumbaikars who opt to move and live on the moon will open moon-g dal bhajias stalls instead of vada pav outlets.


Whether the Indian Premier League'su00a0 20:20 cricket would be played on the moon one day with teams and spectators transported via Chandrayaan-II and Mukesh Ambani's team re-christened as Moon-bai Indians.

Whether the noodle-strapped Mandira Bedi might become an expert commentator for these matches and call herself Moon-dira Bedi.

Whether the new space mantra at the Indian Space headquarters is: Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Isahi, ISRO-NASA Bhai Bhai,u00a0u00a0 after USA's lavish praise for India following the Chandrayaan mission.

Whether peanuts and not chanas are sold on the moon because after all they are, moon-falli.

Why Chandu Halwai does not start a sweet shop on the moon?

Why you are reading this tripe, anyway?


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