Swiss bank shivers

The rich and the famous are popping a few more Gelusils these days. Quite a handful of them seem to be expecting a knock on their double-barred doors with a warrant for an explanation of certain undisclosed accounts in Geneva

Swiss bank shivers

A certain billionaire, we hear, who was quietly and quickly transferring his account boxes out of Bern and on to a ship anchored on the Italian coast enroute to the Cayman Islands, had to quickly abort his plan. The baubles his wife had bought, were simply too heavy for a single tanker to cart.u00a0

Wikileaks, they say, have the entire list of people who've been parking their money in places as secret as Bern vaults and Caribbean dugouts. The papers report that quite a few politicos are feeling the heat of stashing away a mountain or two of dollar notes, that nobody knew about ufffd till now.

Now that it matters to our local yokels: Deadly Yeddy and the Reddys don't bother with niceties like offshore accounts and hidden caches. It's all there for everyone to see: The acres of land, the stuffed sacks of cash and the obvious muscle power.

In fact, keeping them away from civilised places like Switzerland must be top-of-mind for the central leadership.
What if they went off to the Alps, looked around and tried denotifying a Mont Blanc or two? What if they visited the Black Forest, poked around a bit, ordered a couple of dumpers in and began a new mining spree?u00a0
The neutral Swiss, we feel, are bound to take a stand for once, as boards come up announcing the "Phase Two of Arkavathy Layout - Geneva Branch."

Something that softens the blow ufffd like a nice smiling picture of Yeddy on a large hoarding wishing the people of the Canon for Saints' Day isn't going to cut ice ufffd or crack a welcoming smile from the taciturn Swiss.

A Swiss bank, meanwhile, has been sending their employees a long list of do's and don'ts. These include the preferred length of finger nails (short and left bare for women), the preferred colours of ties for men (dark, dark or dark) ufffd and believe it or not, the "recommended" colour of undergarments for employees (flesh coloured ufffd which given the average swiss complexion ufffd must stand for white, with spotches of red ufffd but that's not what the manual meant, we're quite sure! )

The Swiss bankers would shudder at the bright tees and nail polish on display (sometimes not only on the women) in my office.

But then, they're never going to come visit - I'm in no danger of acquiring a vault that Wikileaks will ever leak about.u00a0u00a0

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