It's raining epics this monsoon. We had three of them fall plop on our shoulders within a span of weeks.

The devil wears PR

It's raining epics this monsoon. We had three of them fall plop on our shoulders within a span of weeks. Mahabharat-cum-Godfather and Ramayan, all reborn in glossy Bollywood star power avatar. The reviewers as always queued up with obsequious praise and cleverly worded cautious observations. So they will never risk telling anyone that Rajneeti and Raavan are mediocre films. Worse, they are dishonest films. They fall back on the oldest and most solid scripts in Indian history and attempt a cheap facsimile to the BO. They rely on misleading promos, star power, music, cinematography, PR to create their own legend. Anything but actual storytelling.u00a0

First there is Katrina Kaif's national award-worthy performance, four of whose six total on-screen scenes appear in the promo in a bid to project the film as a Ranbir-Katrina love story, an extension of their whispered off-screen liaison. Or Ranbir Kapoor's two-dimensional take on Michael Corleone-meets-Arjun where his transition from a student of Victorian poetry to a cold-blooded killer needs no explanation. Then there are the blatantly lifted scenes from Godfather, be it the car blast, the killing of the traitor in the car or the cop encounter in the hospital lobby.

Raavan is a bigger tragedy. Because it comes from Mani Ratnam. Mani of the confused contemporary politics but raw and intimate human relationships. But in Abhishek Bachchan's Raavan there is no grey shade... if you discount his ash and mud-smeared visage that is! Then there is Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, whose overarching performance as the virtuous virginal bahu subsumes all other requirements of any character she is portraying.

And of course there is her aesthetically perfect face carefully arranged in clich ufffdd expressions of fear, confusion, desperation and even love. The only real moment in the film is the end when you discover that Vikram's character Dev has played his beloved wife in the most personal space of their relationship to get to Beera, to salvage his male pride and ego. Husband asking wife to take a polygraph test? Really?

Despite their distinguished bio the BO always plays truant. And money is the ultimate bitch, art be damned! I can visualise Prakash Jha telling Ranbir, "Dutiful son turned reluctant killer. The audience will love you." And Mani telling Abhishek, "Remember Lallan in Yuva? Just trust me Abhi." Once you believe a lie yourself, feeding it to a million others is a piece of cake.

And thus the juggernaut of overpaid stars, over-hatched plots, overdone PR and overpriced multiplex tickets rolls on yet again... This time in the name of the ultimate heroes and demons. Now that's what I call a surefire 'hit formula!'

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