Time to turn off the water!

Personal hygiene is important to me. I don't believe cleanliness is just a state of mind

Personal hygiene is important to me. I don't believe cleanliness is just a state of mind (that's important too). So when temperatures are running high, the outhouse is one of my favourite places, perhaps next only to the bedroom.

During summers, I indulge in a bit of tap dancing to go with my bathroom singing. And no, I don't wash my dirty linen in public; privacy is important as well (though I can tell you it's usually quite a performance).

I understand there are risks. According to some, more accidents happen inside bathrooms than on Delhi roads. If you are careless while dealing with a cocktail of water, soap and oil, life can slip through your fingers at the slightest pretext.

During winters, I start telling myself that beauty is indeed skin-deep and there is no harm in occasionally raising a stink

But when you've been in the situation often enough, you realise that after the 15-minute wet dream is over and the bubbles have burst, you will eventually find dry land.

It's a different story when the mercury starts to take a dive. It requires enough courage to get out from under the blanket, but the thought of being soaked to the skin makes me want to throw in the towel and tap out.
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I start telling myself that beauty is indeed skin-deep and there is no harm in occasionally raising a stink. And I am anyway a complete anti-social; what have I got to lose?

But in the end better sense prevails. I step into the lavatory with cold feet, glance reproachfully at the bar of soap and commence my morning ablution. The first mug is indeed the hardest. One of my favourite Bangla adages is (sort of): Ek maagh-e sheet jaaye naa. I'm not going to explain that.

Anyway, I begin envisioning a raging forest fire or myself in a steamy scene at a sauna and then pour cold water all over my daydream. After the shiver has run down my spine and I've emerged from the stupor, I begin cursing the day when some cleanliness freak invented bathing.

I then attack my mane problem with the shampoo and manage to get under the skin with the soap. Finally, foaming at the mouth, I dehydrate myself with a towel.

u00a0It's November. Delhi is recording minimum temperatures below twenty degrees; there is a chill in the air. Winter season has arrived in the national capital.So if you are nosing around for some odour of sanctity, I suggest you maintain a safe distance from yours truly. Just in case!

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