Adarsh bacche

K MY 11yearold niece informed me recently ldquoI take all pronounsrdquo ldquoSo would you like me to use lsquotheyrsquordquo I asked ldquoI take all na You can use lsquohersquo alsordquoldquoWell indoctrinatedrdquo my friend A laughed to me when I told hermdasha fair assumption given I work on themes of feminism gender and sexuality But in truth I had done no indoctrination My reasons mdashyes you know me well readersmdashwere ekdum khadoos I get a Manorama face at the thought of the politically correct child constantly under construction by politically correct parents I am an eyerolling ultifier at selfcongratulatory parental declarations about their childrsquos moist pearls of wisdom carrying their liberal elite mera matlab hai progressive legacy ever forward I get the same feeling I used to get when lsquoaao bacchon tumhein dikhayen jhaaki Hindustan kirsquo and lsquonanha munna rahi hoon desh ka sipahi hoonrsquo used to come on Chitrahar Do the kids really feel this I wonder Or are they pleasing their parents There is that famous Adarsh Balak poster exemplifying an abstemious goody two shoes who prays joins NCC vaghera Cool types always make fun of such people making fun of others is what renders many people cool na These charts have since been satirised and in them the Adarsh Balak does things that are less Rajendra Kumar and more Ranjeet watch porn snort coke and so on These satires are amusingBut when satires become too fixed in their approach they start to feel pious too When the counter culture becomes a template the old Adarsh Balak is simply replaced by a new Adarsh Balak mealy mothed in its own way even if it uses the eff word often Yaniki indoctrinationSure K had met someone nonbinary for the first time in my office and been intrigued and curious about what that meant Yes once K had asked about a picture of two women in my house and gazed with intent curiosity when I had said ldquothatrsquos my friend and her girlfriendrdquoBut itrsquos also true that K like most young people is in love with BTS and the beauteous androgyny of Korean pop culture K has also got a Korean name and plans to marry a Korean but scorns Olly London I think of my own teenage love for Freddy Mercury and what futures it hinted at Or the casually accepted presence of family and friends who were divorced teachers who lived on their own alongside regular adarsh things of the time Whispers suggestions instructionsmdashculture the icons we love the music we love the people we lovemdashall help to make the particular shape of you if you can let them beOne thing struck me about our conversation How easily and joyfully K and her friends mdashand many young peoplemdash embrace this gender fluidity of being which so many older friends resist sometimes with determined denseness even queer friends How lucky they are to have these new understandings of self and others and relationships which would have made growing up years easier for so many of usThe world changes because many people live their lives against the tide gloriously and eccentrically themselves parting the seas of indoctrination for others to follow How wonderful that sometimes this is greeted not with scepticism and denial but curiosity and playParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at paromitavohramiddaycom