Adventures in upholstery

There are two kinds of people Those who fix things right away Others who take their time You call it procrastination I call it commitmentWhen I began living on my own like all my friends my furniture was a mattress on the floor parents ke extra bartans and cardboard boxes covered with dupattas The years advanced So did my friends They acquired sofa sets cars big fridges and washing machines I advanced in a different direction taking handmedown furniture and my mixandmatch deacutecor to new heights Starting out unpredictable it came together eventually kind of like my life I was pretty happy Others not alwaysldquoI think you should get an airconditioner in the living roomrdquo one friend said every time he came ldquoReallyrdquo Irsquod respond yaniki never A new friend surveyed the manicoloured surroundings and said ldquoYour house looks like someone started out with great enthusiasm then got very busy travelingrdquo No disagreement there on the prettypractical balance When I finally bought a TV my assistant said ldquoBas now you must buy a sofardquo ReallyIn a proper middleclass life a sofa set is both destiny and destination and matching is a requirement I did not want to fall into its clutches Then I fell in loveOne day chalte chalte in the mall I saw a sofa lime green Shaped like Austin Powersrsquo lovecouch it might have been imported from the moon The salesperson said it was not compusory to buy the whole set I imagined myself lying on it like Elizabeth Barrett Browning reading as golden orioles sang at the window Reader I married it Some people were pleased I had found a perfect match for my unmatching house Others said ldquohmm interesting But suits yourdquoAs with good looking boys so with sofas After some time the sofa began to come undone At first it had a faded beauty Then it became wildmdashtorn peeling unhinged like any neglected love Finally it reached a place that activated some deeply buried middle class shame even in me and when every friend relative and my cook beseeched me I decided to repair it in the interest of other peoplersquos respectabilityThe upholsterer arrived and was dismayed How had I let it go so far He saw a golden opportunity for reform Opening up his swatches he urged me to GoForGrey How about this bright blue for that torn chair I asked ldquoYour choice madamrdquo ldquoHow about the pink for the other torn chairrdquo He took a deep breath ldquoMadam see this beigerdquo he said with a tone of ldquoletrsquos not go crazy hererdquo ldquoDonrsquot you have like a deep purplerdquo I said looking unhappy This was the last straw ldquoMadam Allah ke vaste ghar ka cocktail mat banaordquo he exclaimed We looked at each other silently ldquoOk letrsquos tone it down We will do yellow and greenrdquo I said I heard him utter a prayer and mutter an expletive A week later he returned with the repaired furniture I was excited to arrange itFor the first time in thirty years everything in my house looked newmdashthough it wasnrsquot really It looks great I said He looked skeptical but indulgent ldquoHaan madam It suits your stylerdquo We smiled at each other Bourgeois and bohemian met in the middle yaniki middleage Sofa so good sorrynotsorryParomita Vohra is an awardwinning Mumbaibased filmmaker writer and curator working with fiction and nonfiction Reach her at paromitavohramiddaycom