Clap, clap, for what’s unparliamentary

In April 1994 the then chairman of the Rajya Sabha the late K R Narayanan was called on to settle a ldquorecurring controversyrdquo among the members of Parliament present A Bharatiya Janata Party BJP member K L Sharma drew his attention to something that he thought was ldquounparliamentaryrdquo Narayanan had to decide if Sharma was rightI have a feeling Narayanan would be ashamed at whatrsquos happening now a quartercentury later with parliamentary things that have recently been pronounced unparliamentary Then again scratch that Hersquos not allowed to be ashamed Or at least hersquos not allowed to say hersquos ashamed in Parliament That word is unparliamentaryIn other words unparliamentary or not you can be a Member of Parliament but you better be aware that what you say in Parliament might betray you by being pronounced unparliamentary and struck from Parliamentary records Got thatWait canrsquot say that either ldquoBetrayrdquo is unparliamentary Sorry Wait is ldquosorryrdquo unparliamentary tooOur beloved government is giving us a whole new Parliament building For which many thanks dear government of mine I do have some concerns though Think of me as your gardenvariety tourist in Delhi interested in watching and learning from the goingson at our temple of democracy If you allow me to visit what will I see happening in the exalted chamber Spirited debates about one issue or another Or the chairman constantly interrupting those debates to order one word or another to be expunged from the record being unparliamentaryI mean it is a serious concern dear government The list is long going way beyond ldquoashamedrdquo and ldquobetrayedrdquo Therersquos ldquoabusedrdquo and ldquoincompetentrdquo ldquocorruptrdquo and ldquohypocrisyrdquo ldquodramardquo and ldquodictatorialrdquo Therersquos ldquojumlajeevirdquo ldquoShakunirdquo ldquotanashahrdquo ldquovinash purushrdquo and ldquobaal buddhirdquo ldquoNikammardquo and ldquonautankirdquo and ldquoCOVID spreaderrdquo also figure and this is by no means a complete list I hear that if I ever seek to scribble out the whole list one word after the next on a strip of paper the strip would stretch to the Moon and backSo yeah I have these visions of sitting up in some Parliamentary viewing gallery looking down at our assembled MPs making statements or arguing or whatever they do and every now and then one claps her hand to her mouth and says ldquoI used an unparliamentary word Irsquom so ashamedrdquo And then she claps her hand to her mouth again and says ldquoIrsquom so incompetent I used lsquoashamedrsquo Irsquom so ashamedrdquo And then she claps her hand to her mouth thrice more you get the pictureNot a pretty picture yoursquoll agree Not forgetting all the hard work of expunging unparliamentary words from Parliamentary recordsSo I really worry about this possible visit to Parliament Sure it will be quite a drama sound of a clap it will be quite a sight Almost anarchic sound of a clap almost chaotic actuallyBut what will it tell me about democracyAs for the late KR Narayanan KL Sharma pointed out that a certain question was numbered 420 Was this proper he asked isnrsquot ldquo420rdquo unparliamentary ldquoSharp exchangesrdquo ensued among the MPs nothing reported about clapsNarayanan settled matters swiftly ldquo420rdquo is not unparliamentary he ruled as it is ldquoonly a numberrdquoApparently that kind of common sense is now unparliamentaryDilip DrsquoSouza is a Mumbaibased writer and journalist